FRIDAY THOUGHTS

Don’t just watch how people treat you. Watch how they treat and speak to others, too. 

You should feel less safe, less secure, and less respected, while noticing someone mishandling others. What makes them think you won’t care? You won’t be feeling the least bit flattered, important, nor indispensable, because you’re exempt from the mistreatment. You should be checking for the exits.

Compliments and favors can’t camouflage a manipulative, controlling, divisive spirit.

When you see someone mishandle others, you can’t help wonder when your turn is coming. How soon before they’re:

Making demands of you?

Gossiping about you? 

Embarrassing you? 

Shortchanging you?

Gaslighting you?

Screaming at you?

Devaluing you? 

Slandering you?

Using you?

Excluding you? 

Ridiculing you?

Blackballing you?

Firing you?

How will they behave, should you say “No”, delay a response, step out of line, disagree, change your mind, establish boundaries, attend to your own priorities, dare to feel; to speak, think, or stand up for yourself? 

No. You’re not paranoid. 

You’re not too sensitive. 

You’re not sabotaging an opportunity. 

You’re not torpedoing a relationship.

You’re not burning bridges. 

You’re paying attention. You’re taking notes. 

Your discernment still works.

You SEE. You’d better…lol

You notice when people switch up; when they smirk, roll their eyes, murmur, and search for ways to bring you or others, down a peg. You’re aware when they think you’re a prisoner in their territory, and have no recourse, rights, or support. You sense when they’re looking for you to cosign their disrespect towards others. If you do—if you look the other way—your impending humiliation will be greater than that of those you wouldn’t defend.

You always have an out. You always have a choice. Your peace is precious. Your integrity is not for sale.

Some bridges NEED to be burned, so that they can be reengineered, redesigned, or rebuilt, and can be safe, stable, and function properly for everyone. The expectation that you keep trying to maneuver potholes, traps, inconsistencies, stumbling blocks, confusing signs, and debris just to be on someone’s bridge, is laughable. There’s nothing righteous about it.

Few things are worse than abuse cloaked in religiosity. There are no prizes for subjecting oneself to toxicity. Perhaps there’s a payoff, but is it really worth it? 

That so-called faithfulness, that people are applauded for, when they shrink, bow, comply, lie, and go-along-to-get-along, is STRESS. It’s fear. It sucks the life and joy out of otherwise pleasant circumstances. 

It’s way past time to stop studying and criticizing the reactions, and put a spotlight on the actions that cause competent, once eager people to bow out, fall away, become discouraged, and decline participation in what should be meaningful and positive endeavors.