QUARANTINE LIFE: ACCESS

The pandemic dramatically altered how, and with whom we communicate and engage. Perhaps, old alliances were put on pause (but have resumed as if no time has passed at all). New ones may have formed out of necessity. Who’s who, and in which category they fall, may have been reevaluated or reinforced, but the granting of access is entirely a choice. 

Access is a tricky thing. It is either temporary or permanent. There’s a reason why it was granted. Once it is, don’t be surprised if, or when assumptions fly, and correspondence that was once useful, harmless, or even profitable, becomes problematic. Some people will always try to convert one thing into something else.

What you intend is not always the agenda of others. Give an inch and some folk think they’re due your time, energy, expertise, keys and an invitation to the family reunion. Being too familiar is never a welcomed thing, no matter how polite, positive, or gracious others have been. 

There are boundaries regarding relationships. It’s wise to never mistake or mislabel the nature of the relationship you’re in. Business dealings have been known to spawn friendships, but that decision is a mutual one. All parties have to be clear. You can’t “think” you have to know. Imagine if a car dealer gave you his or her number, and after you purchased a car, you texted him or her every day— not to buy another car— but to see how they’re doing. What would the dealer think?

Access is tricky. You opened the window or door to let in fresh air— not a mosquito. Okay. So, now the mosquito is in, and thinks it’s just gonna fly around all willy-nilly. After all, you DID open the door. You figured it would fly right back out? Naaaah. It feels entitled now. Being in is not enough. It’s looking for, and taking every opportunity to land on,  preoccupy, and even control you…sneaky-like. If it would have entered like fresh air and bring positivity, help, relief, and joy, all would be well. Instead it brought worry, regret, and trepidation— under the guise of being friendly or helpful. Now, you don’t trust it. Its motives for entering weren’t pure. Now, you’re on alert. It thinks it’s going to be allowed to be a pest. It thinks its fate is going to be pleasant. All you’re doing is cementing a way to be rid of it— and promising yourself (in these almost post-pandemic streets), to be more discerning and careful when you open that door again. 

You just can’t let everybody in. Some folk just don’t know how to act, nor do they realize that access is a privilege to be handled respectfully and responsibly, not a right to be abused.