QUARANTINE LIFE: FRIDAY THOUGHTS

Yesterday’s gone. A new day is here.

There’s no amount of effort that can change the past, or the impact of the people who played roles great, small, positive, or negative. People survive the best and worst episodes of their pasts, but some things reveal how readily they continue to ignore, minimize, and dismiss all of its warnings, lessons, and patterns.

The present has a way of clearing the air, confirming what you’ve suspected, answering questions, filling in blanks, exposing flaws, applauding wisdom, and making you appreciate discernment— even if you weren’t exactly thrilled by what it revealed. 

The present is a lot of people’s safe space to finally let skeletons out of closets. (It’s fascinating what you learn about people you thought you knew.) The coast, however, isn’t always clear. Everyone who “knew you when” is not dead, paralyzed, insane, forgetful, or in a coma. You may be the best one to tell your story, but you can’t control the minds or intentions of those who lived portions of it, and are aware of the details. The past is always poised to pounce. It’s downright giddy sometimes. The past is like that hypocrite-exposing tweeter who tweets, “This YOU?”, and follows up with a scathing thread of undeniable receipts.

The past is forever documented. YOU know the truth, even if you choose not to tell it. Others know the truth, too. Should you choose to edit or embellish, they will happily tell the uncensored, un-sanitized version for you. 

No. You don’t have to wallow or dwell on stuff, or let the past govern your life, but certain revelations trigger people to eagerly go deep-sea diving into The Sea of Forgetfulness. They hope to reel in all of the relevant fish for comment. There are records they endeavor to set straight, because what you’re presenting as fact today, doesn't follow the logical progression begun yesterday. You may want to turn the page, but some things you say or do, encourage others to review and revisit previous chapters. What should be wonderful, worthy of admiration, and celebratory today, could be evidence of yesterday's blunders that, for whatever reason, weren’t properly addressed.

Sometimes, it’s a person’s own actions or choices that make them decide to either hide from the scrutiny of others, or present a fanciful version of their past. Some people, on the other hand, have no shame at all. 

Imagine the stuff you don’t even remember, that requires someone else’s good memory to jog yours, but you STILL can’t recall. It makes you think of the grace and mercy you’ve been shown. You think of the times you didn’t even know you had been covered, spared, protected, defended, or rescued. Some memories make you glad that, once upon a time, social media wasn’t a thing!

The present has a way of making you thankful. That (whatever THAT is), could have been you. You could have been the one that unsympathetic people are criticizing, empathetic people are feeling sorry for, nosy people are investigating, ruthless people are cancelling, laughing at, reporting about, or whispering about behind fake smiles. You could be surrounded by people you're not even sure you know or should trust. You could have been numbered among the dispensable wounded who never recovered. 

If you’re awake to even acknowledge that there WAS a yesterday, do know how fortunate you are? You’re still here! Perhaps you’re far removed from the trouble of your past. Today, with the new information you possess, you realize that some people, places, and spaces were never meant for you. You’re fortunate to be rid of it all. You can begin again.

Today, you know that experience doesn’t have to be the best teacher. Other people’s well documented experiences will do just fine.

What’s that song from my favorite film? 

🎶 “You’re out of the woods! You’re out of the dark! You’re out of the night! Step into the Sun; step into the light!” 🎶 

You should be dancing. No. Seriously. You have nothing to be sad or regretful about. Okay. Maybe you do, but try your best not to let it further burden, or define you. Don’t be fooled again. Keep your eyes open. Stay encouraged. Don’t misidentify concern for politics, trickery for good advice, debts for gifts, associations for friendships, choices for preferences, or love for resignation. 

The present has arrived with a gift—a declaration, even: You dodged a gigantic bullet, avoided a splitting headache, were spared a nightmare— or maybe several—and have been given another opportunity. That’s good news.

You know your experiences. All of them. There are things you thought you needed, wanted, or couldn’t do without, that, today, make you wonder just how naive, silly, stubborn, uninformed, weak, gullible, or desperate you’ve been from time to time! There are things that presented themselves to you, but something inside told you, “Run!” You questioned the running coordinator, but you took off just the same. Looking back, you were plum exhausted after that run, but aren’t you glad you did?

Some things seem to resurface with the expressed intention of reopening wounds, but actually serve to show you what you’re made of (and how lucky you are). Antagonists are intentional, so, your mature responses must be as well. You don’t have to respond to, lend your time, or presence to everything. 

Some things that you used to cry and fret about, are downright funny today, and your hearty laugh is not pretense.

Some things are no less destructive, problematic, foolish, meddlesome, or draining than they've ever been. They're just older. You can see that clearly now.

The past is unchangeable. 

Perhaps, you don’t dare talk about some things. Some doors are not only closed, they’re barricaded…with bricks…and stones…and a moat…with a dragon. If you ever demolished it all and started talking about it…whew. You’d have to change all of the names. 

You’ve been a recipient of mercy, and that’s motivation to graciously offer it to others. 

You’ve been so quiet about some things, that the bad actors of your past think you’ve forgotten, or have let things slide. They think that time has removed invisible boundaries, and access has been fully granted. It is, perhaps, to their advantage, but mostly yours, that you forgive. Forgiveness is not stupidity or weakness, by the way. You haven’t totally forgotten the past. Even the smallest scars won't let you. You’re just free, healed, happy, and content, today. You’ve grown. You're still here, and if you didn’t learn anything else, you know that “when people show you who they are, believe them the FIRST time”.

You now know that no one, not even you, gets away with anything. You know to leave vengeance to its owner. 

Not everyone emerged from their past with their sanity, reputations, or lives intact. So many people get stuck in the places of their greatest pain, and never recover. So many experience mistreatment at the hands of others, and are forever asking why, and questioning themselves, their worthiness, and humanity. 

For many, today, it seems that everyone else took full advantage of yesterday's opportunities, and are progressing, gaining, excelling, and prospering. Don't be fooled. It is imperative to look closely before bemoaning your own circumstances. One of the worse things to do, is to covet perceptions. (Social media is full of them. Some things just appear to be perfect, good, healthy, and wholesome.) 

Don’t find yourself envying what you should be pitying. It’s true. All that glitters is not gold. Some perceived wins, are actually huge settlements or losses. 

The road of destruction that some people littered in their pursuit of happiness (at the expense of others), make it almost impossible to ever wish them well. Some people have screwed up so many lives, it actually makes you afraid for them. Even if you want to root for them, you can almost see the karma cloud hovering, and waiting for just the right opportunity to soak their parade. If you insist on sticking around them, you may want to pack an umbrella. 

What a waste to ignore the good, peace, security, and possibility in your own life because you THINK the grass is greener somewhere else. Stop it! If you know like "they" know, you don’t really want to be in their shoes. Putting on an act requires a lot of work. Some people need you to THINK their shoes are comfortable, as they traverse their artificial turf. It makes them feel better. 

Get busy dancing in your own shoes, on your own grass, and making sure what’s behind your own closed doors is authentic.

The past is unchangeable. Don’t let your mind do an editing job, or a rewrite of the truth. Although it may seem easier or less painful to lament how you think things should be, could be, or how they could have been, it’s prudent to be honest about how things ARE. If they aren’t to your liking, get busy figuring out how to legitimately change them. Whether in your own life, or in the lives of others, don’t romanticize or rationalize dis-ease. 

Fight for, and celebrate what’s functional, true, and righteous. 

Find the good. 

Preserve your peace.

Be grateful for each day’s opportunity to be, and do better. 

The past is unchangeable, but today is like a fresh canvas. 

Make the most of it.