QUARANTINE LIFE: UNSUSTAINABLE

Systemic racism, ingrained hatred, instilled bigotry, and a sense of entitlement are difficult to let go of if they've always favored you. 

The thought that everything you were ever told or taught is a lie, is, I think, what is spawning the desperation, anger, bullying, and craziness we're seeing and hearing about each day. 

Why are people, who have such privilege, freedom, favor, wealth, and power, so furious? 

What are they arming themselves for? 

Why are they wiling out in grocery stores? 

Harassing strangers on the street? 

Starting conflict with their neighbors? 

Has all of that pent up bigotry snapped? 

People are losing their minds, and law enforcement can't afford to just ignore it something happens. 

Laws ARE being broken. 

Sadly some laws are enforced according to nationality as opposed to criminality.

Exactly where does anyone get the idea that people of color are "taking over" anything? Doesn't the term "taking over" imply the existence of the very supremacy and power so many deny and ignore?

I don’t understand anyone who STILL insists on calling any callous, sick, sinister man or woman "good" or "godly". 

It is either deep denial, intense self-hatred, willful ignorance, fear, blackmail, threatening, or a monetary payoff that causes anyone to continue to vigorously defend such blatant ignorance, arrogance, incompetence, and corruption.

 

The current climate is exhausting, depressing, and sad. People are doing what they can get away with. 

Like coronavirus, evil seems to be in the air. 

I'm all for context, but the prophet Isaiah's words sure hit differently, and seem like a mighty good idea: 

"Go my people, enter your rooms and shut the doors behind you; hide yourselves for a little while until his wrath has passed by."

I do not fully understand anyone who is a descendant of slaves who rallies behind, and licks the boots of those who have publicly demonstrated nothing but bigotry, disdain, indifference, and contempt for them. How deeply do you have to loathe and reject yourself that you would don blinders, grin, shuffle, grovel after, and desire the attention and approval of anyone who makes it so obvious that they extend no loyalty, love, respect, or regard for you— or anyone like you?

Maybe I’m missing something. I KNOW what the Bible says. I DO trust God. I know he can do anything. I’m trying to be patient. I’ve tried to be objective. I’ve watched and listened. If it wasn’t so chronically hellish, it would be funny, yet people who boast collegiate degrees want people with working eyes and ears to think this administration is the best America has ever had.

If it’s a game going on; if this is supposed to be a joke, it ain’t funny any more. We’ve been here before, though. Why no one in authority will stop it is unfortunate, but not a surprise. Why Congress has seemingly turned a blind eye, and refused to use the powers it does have, is disappointing, but understandable. Somewhere there is a payoff, or maybe they're just tired, too.

I have to curb my news viewing. Journalists aren't fact checking nearly as often as they should. I feel like I’m watching The Twilight Zone. People just lie, lie, LIE, gaslight, spin, cheat, steal, and daily prop up a criminal--then quit or get fired, write books full of the truths they should have told all along, and expect us to buy them. 

Every day, I’m waiting for someone to spontaneously combust. All of that scheming, and hurting people HAS to be stressful on the internal organs. 

Is God, once again hardening hearts? Like the Civil War, the opposing sides look the same, the plight of Black people is the underlying cause of the conflict, and they are killing each other now on national television.


It’s going to take more than voting. This climate calls for some Old Testament-type, medieval, miraculous activity. 

Maybe it isn’t Black vs. White, Democrat vs. Republican, after all. Maybe it’s good vs. evil. Maybe it is God’s wrath we're experiencing via this pandemic. Maybe this is a separating of the wheat and the tares. Maybe I’m having a nightmare. 

Every day the flaunting of the law by people in high places--and low--gets worse, death tolls climb, the list of improprieties gets longer, leaders tweet to us what we already see as if they're powerless tattletales, and some people act as if there's no pandemic at all. 

I’m holding on to my faith like grim death. I’m trusting God to intervene. I check in regularly with, "Umm. Lord. You do see this right?" He assures me that He does.

I thank Him for protecting, sheltering, and providing for me during this time. I'm a homebody, so as long as Amazon can deliver Skinny Pop, and almond M&M's, I'm good. I have no desire to go anywhere, and have only been outside of my neighborhood twice since March. I still have a half tank of gas. I'm watching a moral storm from the inside out. It's disappointing and scary, the sheer hatred and injustice so brazenly on display, but I believe God will not let this madness or its hellish players go on for long. 

Grace is being extended, but it won't last long. Many are afraid and confused, but it's those who sit back and enable this assault on the citizenry, who should be terrified. History will not be kind.

This climate is not sustainable. It is not healthy. It is wearing down good people, and solidifying the damnation of those who conceived, created, allowed, perpetuate, and compound it with more destructive rhetoric and behavior.

I pray that God protect the young people who are brave enough to stand up, and speak out.

I was 7 years old in 1968 when Dr. King was assassinated. 

I remember the fires, destruction, sadness and anxiety that is eerily being repeated today. I remember wondering why people hated Black people so much. What did we do? I'm not wondering anymore. 

My last name is Williams. My direct ancestors were Hamiltons, Johnsons, and Washingtons. I have never met a white person who has the surname Washington. No one brought those names from West Africa. It is clear that many people hate the shame they cannot destroy. The soil of America is tainted. Racists know what their ancestors did--which secured their current status--so they would rather not see Black faces at all--not in their neighborhoods, and certainly not prospering or in positions of power. They know that everything they have is a result of oppression, mangling of the Gospel, greed, and lawlessness. They want people of color to suffer, never have anything comparable to what they enjoy, and cannot see any person of color as an equal.

 
When the world sees many African Americans, they see walking, enduring results of their forefathers' criminal activity. When many white Americans see us, they see the sin and depravity of their fathers, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers. We are the relatives they refuse to acknowledge; the relatives with which they refuse to share the wealth our common ancestors stole, and secured on the backs of the kidnapped ancestors of their own mixed-race offspring.

We have clearly learned nothing, except that some things have to be destroyed at the root, or else they will regroup and regrow worse, and more reckless and vile than before. Part of the problem, that too, is not new, is the contingency of the Black community that has sold its collective soul for an opportunity to continue sit at and enjoy scraps from the tables of those who would just as soon poison them. Some Black people are still trying to prove themselves worthy and human. It's sad to watch and hear.

I pray that the young people who are speaking out, and putting their freedom and lives on the line during these times, are not doing so in vain. 

One day racists are going to realize that racism costs them, too.

#sundaythoughts