CONFIDENCE OR INSECURITY

In my favorite film (released 80 years ago), the Cowardly Lion rapped, “What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the ape in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?” His fellow travelers to Oz answered, “Courage?” to which he giggled and replied, “You can say that again.” 

The Cowardly Lion led with aggression, sarcasm, bullying, and arrogance. Everyone was terrified and quiet at first, until he went after Toto. The Cowardly Lion had gone too far. Dorothy stepped up, and with her beloved Toto safe in her arms, slapped The Cowardly Lion. She CHECKED him. It HAD to happen. Essentially, she said, “You’re wiling out and acting a fool, but don’t mess with mine. I don’t care who you are, or who you think you are, you will NOT traumatize mine.” That slap stunned the Lion. He immediately began to cry, and suggested to Dorothy that she didn’t have to hit him. He implied that his behavior had been harmless. Dorothy disagreed and told him precisely why his actions were unacceptable. He then revealed he was just projecting confidence to hide how deeply afraid and insecure he was.

Be honest— if you dare. ARE you carefree, confident, proud, and unbothered by the opinions of others, or are you just hurt, scarred, wounded, misguided, ignorant, and desperate for attention, love and validation?
WHY would you cheerfully refer to yourself with a term that defines a dog? Why denigrate yourself at all?
When did being trifling and loving yourself become synonymous?
When did discretion and wisdom become bad things?

Who’s suggesting/ demanding/applauding that you do or say,(or wear) something for THEIR amusement, comfort, approval, curiosity, or entertainment? Why isn’t your talent ever enough? Who’s convincing you it’s great, but laughing at you behind your back? Who thinks they wield that much power over you; whose approval do you seek so desperately that you will VOLUNTARILY or DELIBERATELY humiliate yourself? Is there no one who loves you enough to tell you the truth, or are you bamboozled by the “Do you” slogan to the degree that you don’t even know how foolish, ridiculous, and crazy you appear? Is there no one to (like Fred Astaire did for Ginger Rogers in “The Gay Divorcee) sacrifice their own coat to hide your wardrobe mishap so you won’t be exposed in public? Are you deceived by those who are entertained by promoting and perpetuating stereotypes that ensure that you, and people who look like you (who are not even in your arena), will always be labeled, demeaned, ridiculed, oppressed and dismissed?

Was 8 years of the grace, dignity and intelligence of Michelle Obama too much for some people to bear? Did the way she carried herself force some to challenge every notion and belief they ever had? Was it so infuriating that her example had to be eclipsed once again by ratchetness? Are we done putting our best foot forward? Who is being trotted out, and I suspect, purposely elevated to be the emulated representative? Who and what is being muted or erased in favor of the worst exemplars?
There will always be someone who is willing to do what you won’t. That doesn’t give them the right or green light to appoint themselves your representative. Historically though, Black people have been treated like a monolith. That becomes problematic when one of us acts a fool. When one of us fails or falls, we all feel it, and are saddled with the ensuing shame whether we want it or not.
Is promoting criminals, thots, mammies, minstrels, coons, foul mouthed, illiterate, loud-mouthed, ditzy, dressed-up or undressed dolls and idiots the PLAN, so that a negative image goes GLOBAL and is cemented as the norm? Is there an AGENDA to perch the worst of the worst upon pedestals and advertise it as excellence? Will the best always be blackballed, cancelled, or considered anomalies? Who’s controlling the narrative? Is that why that “articulate” aka “well-spoken” trope STILL exists— because no one expects intelligence to emanate from a Black person? Is a Rochester or a Lightn’n less threatening and more digestible than a Barack or a Cory?

Lie to me, and depending on my regard for you, I’ll think it’s true. Tell me something wrong; uphold me when I’m wrong, and I’ll never get right or think I need to make it right. When I allow myself to be compromised, I’ll participate, albeit unwillingly, in my own destruction. Teach me that I’m my brother or sister’s keeper, and I’ll feel complicit in, or affected by every wrong move they make. Fictive kinship strikes again. Vicarious humiliation strikes again. The so-called Hottentot Venus is relevant again.
When will we ever learn to set the boundaries, that others have set,  that free them from absorbing random foolishness or experiencing secondhand embarrassment?

It doesn’t take courage to be gullible, ignorant, misguided, or exploited. It SHOULDN’T take courage to call out inappropriate behavior that encourages, normalizes, welcomes, redefined, or excuses exploitation.

#nothingnewunderthesun
#positiverepresentationmatters
#tropes
#BlackWomen
#images
#selfworth
#stereotypes