Someone in my county government thought it would be
a good idea if trash was picked up once per week. I guess it was a
revenue-saving measure, but it amazes me what ends up on the chopping block
when it’s time to save money—the stuff that people actually need.
No one bothered to ask the community how decreasing trash removal would work for everyone in a place where raccoons, opossum, deer, and trash cans with insecure lids were
everywhere. Now, we have new, larger trash bins, akin to the existing recycle bins, to hold (hopefully) what has accumulated from Tuesday to Tuesday. If you miss those trucks, though, shame on ya. They won't be coming again on Friday like they used to.
Every day, decisions are made that will affect others
and those decisions are based on what someone thinks, believes, and knows. Although their intentions may be as good as gold, how close are the decision makers to what is actually going on? How often is it proven that decision makers are woefully out of touch? Will they be
affected by the decision, or are they just eager to implement it without
considering the consequences?
I read that there are three major types of theories
of decision-making:
1. normative
theories which inform us how a reasonable, mature, rational person should behave
2. descriptive
theories that describe and embody how individuals of any ilk do behave, and
3. descriptive
theories that instruct us how to behave
based on our own cognitive, physical, or personal limitations.
There’s a concept that
exists and is studied in Psychology called “subjective
desirability”. It’s what is commonly known as preferences. Our individual preferences, whether they are
born out of heredity, tradition, education, or socialization, are a big part of our decision-making
process. Our personal preferences come into play even when we’re making
decisions for other people. That can be sticky and tricky. When tasked with
making decisions for others, to avoid conflict, accusations of insensitivity, spite, bias, unfairness or
being woefully uncaring and disconnected, we have to ask ourselves,
1.Whose best interests are being considered? Mine or theirs?
2. Do I know enough
about the people involved or the situation to make a sound decision?
3. Have I considered
asking for input from the people who will be impacted by the decision I make,
or do I not respect them enough to even ask?
4. Am I on a power
trip? Do I care about the outcome and impact of my decision?
5. Am I seeking the
maximum benefit for all, or being a selfish jerk or bully?
6. Am I making wise decisions
or imposing hardship upon others while I enjoy satisfaction and comfort?
7. Is it about the good
of the organization, group, or project, or do I just want my way?
I cannot make decisions for you without knowing how
it’s going to affect everything concerning you. I can't turn a blind eye. I have to care. If I can't, or won't be righteous about it, perhaps I'm not the one who should have the final say. The decisions I make for you will determine
everything from whether I’m actually in touch with you, or even if I like you! I can’t be so consumed with
what I want, or what I think is right, normal or reasonable, that I ignore your
needs.
There is a very good book written by Gary Chapman titled The Five Love Languages. One
premise Chapman explores is that we tend to love people the way we want to based on our needs, and not how they need
to be loved. We figure that people ought to be happy with the way we treat them, what we do for them, and the decisions we make. We get mad, offended and perplexed when they aren't, but do we bother to learn them enough to make sure our efforts aren't a waste of time for ourselves and a disappointment to the people we are serving, helping, governing, leading, or sharing space with? Do we really care about how others feel or what they
really need, or do we operate with our own agendas and impose what we think is
best for them and demand that they like it? We can have the best intentions where another person is
concerned and still be all wrong in our decisions concerning them.
Again, that’s where caring comes in. We have to care how the decisions we make are
going to impact people. What’s best, good, or preferable for me may not be
what’s best for you—and I have to esteem you enough to acknowledge that.
A lack of empathy characterizes those decisions that
fail to take into account the well-being of others. If I want to be happy, what
on Earth makes me think others don’t want the same?
The “too bad” that I declare to someone else won’t
sound good when I hear it when I least want to. When making decisions for other
people, the first thing to be remembered is simple: They’re people and they matter.
#justkeepgoing
#DEW4U
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