Thursday, September 8, 2016

FREE



































This morning I opened the blinds and noticed the bamboo along the fence is making a comeback. 
Some things can't be handled nicely or casually. It can't be trusted on its own to go away and stop being a nuisance. A weed whacking every two weeks is not enough. It has to be dug up from the root.

Before I walked away, I watched as a little bird struggled to find its way out of the patio. I don’t know how long it had been inside. It was flying back and forth, frantically flapping its wings. It seemed panicked, and couldn't remember how it had gotten inside.

The wind blew one of the screens partially down yesterday. There's a wide open space between the frame and the fallen screen. It was certainly big enough for the little bird to fly through, but it flew in every direction except toward the opening. It flew to, and desperately clawed on, and pecked at every other screen except the one that offered him freedom. It was as if the bird just couldn't see the clear exit. It would get close to it, then seem disoriented and fly all the way to the other side of the patio. The way it began banging itself against each of the taut screens was heartbreaking. It flew to the small panes at the top of the back door, and looked in. It wasn’t an exit. The glass was deceiving.
Finally, the little bird perched on the edge of a flower pot. It just sat there as if it was thinking. It seemed exhausted and defeated. It looked around, and then looked up. It finally saw the opening and swiftly flew out.

I was so happy for that little bird! The scene encouraged me so much! When I woke up this morning, I thought back to being in labor on this date over thirty years ago. I thought about the relief and joy when it was over. I also thought about the labor of being a caregiver for the past 14 months. I thought about getting out of the house today, but hadn't made a plan. I felt a bit like that little bird. I'm inside, and it's been okay. There have been challenges, but nothing oppressive or inhibiting my freedom. No one is more of a homebody than I am, but this morning I wanted to get out. The little bird's experience reminded me “There's a need. You're here by choice. You are certainly not a prisoner. You’re not stuck or disoriented. You can see your options. Just stand still. The way out is still there, it’s nearer than you think, and you have access to it any time you want. Just look up”.

I couldn't believe how something as simple as going outside to get the newspaper put a smile on my face. 
It was feeling a bit like July on this beloved September day, but it was beautiful just the same. 
Freedom isn't something that can be given. It's in the heart and mind of everyone. No matter where we are, we all just have to settle ourselves and know it's ours.

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