TUESDAY THOUGHTS: MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME

People are certainly more important than things, but some people demonstrate that they have very little regard for the possessions of others. 

I will never understand how people can destroy a room in a matter of minutes. No. A place doesn't have to be sterilized like a laboratory, but there is nothing wrong with cleanliness. 

How is it that people feel it's okay to just drop and go? 

How does one just leave trash on a table or floor when there's a trashcan mere feet away? 

Whatever happened to "A place for everything, and everything in its place"?

My late mother always said, "Leave it like you found it." and "Treat what belongs to someone else as if it was your own." 

Those declarations came, of course, after extensive home training. 

It also implied that we were expected to take good care of our belongings--as if we wanted to keep them, and understood they didn't materialize out of thin air, but from the sacrifices, kindness, and generosity of others.

My sisters and I just couldn't do whatever we wanted to do in someone else's house. 

I remember the speech we would get before leaving home. From the second we crossed the threshold, we knew to be careful, considerate, respectful, and mindful that nothing on the premises belonged to us. If we were graciously allowed to enter, the least we could do was behave in a civilized manner. 

There was never an expectation or demand that the host had to adjust his or her ways to accommodate ours. 

There was no mess making, no rummaging through drawers or cabinets, no touching anything that didn't belong to us; no imposing our preferences; no failure to wash sticky hands; no feet on furniture; no glasses on tables without coasters; no complaining or pouting that our host didn't have what we wanted to eat or drink; no demanding that anyone do anything. If a mess was made, we had to clean it up--promptly. When it was time to clear dishes, we had to help. 

If we were playing a game, we had to help put it away. 

Whatever we used or moved had to be put back--not when we felt like it, but immediately.

One can do whatever one wants to in one's own space. One can be the biggest, nastiest, smelliest, clumsiest, greasiest, filthiest, sweatiest, hoarding spirit on the planet. 

In the space of another, one should be considerate--not offended because one can't have full reign in, or permission to trash another person's house. 

Most of the time, hosts are being polite by saying, "Make yourself at home." 

One shouldn't take that to mean it's okay to leave one's smelly shoes in their host's living room, or one's dirty underwear on the floor in front of the washing machine. 

One's host shouldn't have a good indication of everywhere one has been in the house, because he or she is constantly picking up or wiping down something. 

A trail of messes shouldn't be the way to successfully locate one's house guest.

"Make yourself at home" is not without exceptions--especially if you are an inconsiderate slob, AND if the person who extends the offer is NOT the person who does the cleaning. 

Offering to cook is a wonderful gesture, but not if no one in the house eats what you want to prepare except you, or you think cleaning up after yourself is beneath you. 

I remember how my mother used to clean as she cooked. She reasoned that, after the meal, there would be nothing to clean except the plates, glasses and utensils we used.

An arrogant, entitled spirit, however, sincerely believes that it can bulldoze it's way wherever it goes without being mindful of those around them. No one should have to ask if something is in the way of another person if they've already told you that it is. That's a facetious question emanating from a contrary, messy spirit, that still thinks it's at its own house. 

If something isn't where it belongs, if it attracts critters, if it smells, impedes egress, disturbs the peace, stains, drains, or annoys, it's a problem for your host. Don't do it! 

How you do things in your house is never a good argument or defense, when you're visiting someone else, no matter how superior or right you think your way may be. What you do at home is moot when you're not there.
You may adore the smell of Lutefisk and Limburger cheese. To you, they may be like roses and gardenias in Spring. Taking Lutefisk and Limburger cheese to someone's home (who doesn't like or eat it) because you like it, stinking up the joint, and leaving it carelessly wrapped in your host's refrigerator, is crossing the line. Who does that? 

People who ignore boundaries, that's who. 

People do what is allowed. 

When limits are enforced, only an individual with ulterior motives will cry foul.

 "Welcome" is not without boundaries, exceptions and limitations. 

Be respectful and considerate wherever you go. 

It's a good way to be happily welcomed back.