Tuesday, December 29, 2015

A PRAYING BULLY

"So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way." ~James 3:5-8

Dear Bully:
It's good that you pray, but never presume to sic God on anyone. He'll show you how much he loves them, and then show you yourself. It's painful for a person, who thinks they're closer to God than others, to find out the hard way that he's not petty like that. He'll check them, too--because he loves them. 
Never go to God misinformed, in denial, or arrogantly. He knows you--and the people you drag before him in prayer (and expect him to reprimand and fix so that you can resume controlling them). He, unlike others, will not endorse your wrongness. 
Bully, you have a bad habit of mocking others; have a penchant for being crass, overbearing, sarcastic, critical, lewd, and tactless. Your self-righteousness deceives you into asking God to, for example, "bridle your tongue". Yeah, those flowery words sound biblical, religious and prayerful, but, because he loves you, he'll answer that prayer. He won't have you thoughtlessly spewing venom all over the place, and risk either being punched in the mouth, stripped of your authority in the world, or left alone. To your surprise, others will enjoy peace and be safe from your barbs, while you, on the other hand, might not be saying much of anything for a while. Conviction is a mother. You'll lament the quiet, because you've become an ardent lover of the sound of your own voice, especially in fits of boasting. In the quiet of conviction, your words won't be stinging, attacking, or offending anyone anymore. You'll be challenged to find new words, and new ways to say them. Every time you think about saying something, you'll feel that subtle prick or jolting jab, breathe a heavy sigh, resume the silence, and meditate on better, more loving ways to communicate. There will be no endless, pointless arguments, or confrontations because God won't allow you to start any. That's right. You start stuff, but you prayed partly because you realize don't like it when people bark back. Doesn't feel good, does it? 
Asking God to bridle your tongue will also mean that soon, you won't be sitting around stewing and pouting because someone, you thought was weaker than you, finished what you started. Those around you will cease walking on eggshells when God gets hold of your tongue.
He'll silence you so that you can consider the abominable way you approach, interrogate, and talk at people. He'll challenge you to think before you open your mouth, and reset your tone so that you can actually hear the viciousness in it, and adjust it. You'll practice: "Should I say that? Is that any of my business? How will it make the listener feel? Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it right? Is it harsh? Does it make sense? Is it appropriate? Will it edify? Will it draw others to me or push them away?" 
He'll show you that words are powerful, and whether you've been using yours to break the spirits and wound the souls of others, or uplift and encourage them. He'll help you recharge the filter you obviously never figured out how to use, so that you won't leave others appalled or perplexed. He'll help you understand why people deal with you in very small doses. He'll teach you that if you truly want company, you're going to have to consider the hearts of others. He'll help you see that respect is not something that one fiercely demands, but refuses to give, and that badgering and antagonizing people is not endearing. He'll help you see, if you get off of your high horse and let him, that it's not them, it's you. It will hurt since you had a penchant for needing to be right all of the time, but you will be on the road to more genuine relationships and more pleasant conversations--as opposed to didactic encounters.
Maybe you can't talk to people because you just don't know how. They're not too sensitive or defensive. There's a reason they've been kind of quiet on you. Encounters with you are exhausting. It's not that they're closed-minded, it's that you're just a bully. God will show you how not to be, so that others will not be repelled or disgusted by the sound of your voice, but happy to see you arrive. Stop wondering why others keep their distance. Stop wondering why you fail at your attempts to engage others; stop blaming others for having the good sense to love and protect themselves and refuse to absorb your negative energy. 
Humbly, for a change, stop talking, and let God talk to you about you.

No comments:

Post a Comment