SATURDAY THOUGHTS: HARMONY WINS

For years, they've been picking up the phone, calling them to talk about/complain about you. Subsequently, they've been picking up the phone to call you to talk about/complain about them. Then, one fine day, you both get wise, and ask yourselves:
Why would someone want me to think less of someone else?
Why would someone want me to join in their dislike of, criticism of, disappointment with someone else--someone who has never done anything to harm me?

What is the payoff for maligning another person? Is it just sport to watch people grow farther and farther apart, or never get together at all?
How much do I truly know if I only have one version of a story?
Why am I not using my brain, and allowing someone to manipulate me and shape my thoughts?
What relationship(s) am I forfeiting by not using my own brain?
What support have I failed to offer and how much undeserved criticism have I given?
Just because someone is mad, do I have to be mad as well?
What is the truth, and to whom do I need to offer a sincere apology?

On that same fine day, you talk to each other and compare notes. It's the biggest "Aha Moment" of the century. You've both been played against each other, but now you're on the same team.

There's a common denominator and when you identify it, problem solved. Beef quashed. Misunderstanding understood. The hidden hand that's been throwing rocks will be exposed. The day you take back your listening ear and refuse to entertain, or cosign the words and sentiments a strife-loving individual, is the day your relationships with others will be mended. 

The day you realize that you don't have to agree with, or join in the bashing of another individual is the day at least one caller might lose your number on purpose.

Gossips need others to fuel their efforts. When you take back your support, stop agreeing, offer a different perspective, or defend the person who is being maligned, watch the gossip's reaction. Conversations will abruptly end. When people realize that you will no longer entertain their foolishness, don't be surprised if you become the topic of their next gossip campaign. Understand that a gossip is loyal to no one.

You may be surprised to find who's sowing seeds of discord amongst your family and friends. Why anyone would endeavor to pit you against others (and vice versa) --especially those closest to you isn't a mystery. 

Some people want to be right more than they want to be honest. People need allies even if it means creating division, and then they lament and wonder why no one is engaging, why there's distance, mistrust and strife. 

It's a shame but some people derive great benefit from keeping people at odds. Strife lovers want people fighting. It supports their cause and justifies their words.

It's not unusual to believe the words of someone you've always trusted, but even that person's words can be fortified with ulterior motives and overrun with lies. Frankly, there are people who thrive on discord. They like arguments and disagreements especially if the fallout is in their favor.

The next time someone seeks you out to badmouth someone else, shut it down immediately, and change the conversation. What could happen? Either they'll stop calling you or they'll find something more wholesome and edifying to talk about.

One must soberly consider how one treats others, and monitor what one says and does. My grandmother used to say, "Be nice to everybody. You never know who's gonna have to give you your last drink of water". Someone else ended my grandmother's  proverb this way: "You never know who's gonna have to wipe your ass". It's a hard pill to swallow when the person one has mistreated the most, is the one who shows up to help the most.

The last thing some people want to see is harmony. Champion it. Show it to them anyway.