TUESDAY THOUGHTS: MOMMY

I found the loveliest photo of my Mom today! 

She was such a lady; such a girlie girl, but she was no pushover. She was wise, smart, responsible, caring, creative, long-suffering, neat, and virtuous 

I stared at the photo for quite a long time. 

At that moment in time, in her Sunday best, she was beautiful, and seemed so happy. 

I like her smile, too.

February is always a little weird, and has been for years. 

Mommy passed away at Washington Hospital Center in the early morning of February 4, 2003. It still doesn't seem right or fair. It still baffles me. Sometimes I'm just downright mad about it. It's one of those things that make you say, "It wasn't supposed to happen this way!"
It definitely didn't seem right or fair when, on the morning of February 4, this year, I was driving to MedStar Cancer Institute with my Dad for his first round of chemotherapy.
He was always the one driving her, and waiting for her when she was receiving her chemotherapy infusions to treat colon cancer. 

I wonder sometimes what he's thinking and how he's feeling. 

I wonder if he ever sees the irony of it all.

I've donned my caregiver hat once again. I'm realizing that:

1. Plans can change, and flexibility is a good thing.

2.You may be stronger than you think.

3. Sometimes you're being prepared for a task and don't know it.

4.Tests are good, especially if you know the purpose of them.

5. Things probably work out exactly the way they're supposed to.

6. People do what you allow.

7. Boundaries are good and necessary.

8. Adversity brings out the best and/ or worst in people.

9. Caregivers need care, too.

10. Listening affords an incredible amount of learning.

11. Sometimes, you don't have to say a word.

12. Consideration has to be taught--early.

13. Strengths may vary.

14. Rest is your friend.

15. "Yes" is the appropriate response to the question, "Is there anything I can do?"

16. Some things don't deserve a response or a reply.

17. You have to know for whom you are working.

18. The truth IS the light.

19. Documentation is important.

20. Gut feelings aren't called gut feelings for nothing.

21. My mother taught me well.

It seems so odd being in my family home and my Mom isn't here. Her touch is, though. Her tastes and style are all over the place. The tea pots, the flowers, the French Provincial furniture, the drapes, the color schemes...That is comforting to me. 

I know I'm not her, but with God's help, I'll try to remember and apply everything she taught me, especially Colossians 3:23: 

"And whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men..."