I found a journal entry that was about 2 years old. It's amazing how much it applies today. It indicates that there's another giant left to defeat. The giant that is difficult, intrusive people. Funny. I thought I'd licked that sucker.
The mission and goal is to speak up--boldly--when necessary, whether it is characteristic or not, and give the tough stuff --no--EVERYTHING to God, and still remember what Mommy said, "Always be a lady".
Yes. Some people try waaaaaay too hard. They're too familiar and all they really inspire is intense dislike and mistrust. They're constantly scheming and worming their way where they don't belong and aren't welcome. They take liberties they should not. I read Ephesians 6:12 and it really adjusted my attitude this morning. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places." So, it's not the nosy, intrusive people's fault after all. Is it that they're just possessed? Ha!
Here's the old journal entry:
I got a call yesterday about a singing engagement, or at least that's what the person initially said was the nature of his call. Now where did he get my number? The initial flattery should have been a warning sign. I'm a fan of affirmation, but this was bordering on brown nosing. In the midst of the conversation, the caller abruptly switched gears and began interrogating me about a personal matter concerning a family member, and proceeded to share information that, for some reason, he didn't think I already knew. I wondered what on Earth it had to do with the singing engagement? How did his train of thought completely jump the track? I was immediately annoyed. I could hear my own tone change. I was ready to hang up. Polite, gracious Me kept plugging along and steered the conversation back to where it began. I could feel some really ignorant chick tying hard to get out and give him a piece of her mind, but I wouldn't let her. I was sure she would go too far. It wasn't the first time someone had overstepped their boundaries and involved themselves in circumstances where they had no place. I let it slide and stayed silent to this day. Here I was again faced with another individual, from the same circle of too-familiar people, whose tone testified that he felt he had a right to say every word that was coming out of his mouth. Hanging up would have been rude, but I knew the conversation had to end soon before I said something I would feel quite good about saying, but regret later. I stayed cool and didn't let that other side of me come out to play. Based on the many other times she was suppressed, I didn't trust her to be nice, or stay on topic.
Sometimes it's just easier to assume that people mean well--that they don't mean any deliberate harm, or are just clueless concerning their inappropriate words or behavior. No. It's not I. Sometimes you really are reminded of the superiority of the spirit of Christ. Self control is a wonderful thing-- graciousness, forgiveness and understanding are, too.
What is it about people who are so eager to share what they know about what they think you SHOULD know, as if it's some kind of tabloid newspaper scoop? Some people are waiting/itching for an opportunity to engage/confront you based on a variety of factors. When they finally have or create the opportunity, it's fascinating how some can jump in while both feet are wedged firmly in their mouths. It is an immediate and irreversible turn-off. The aim is not to assist or be of help. It quickly exposes their real motive for seeking you out. It forces you to adopt a defensive stance. It breeds cynicism and mistrust. It also elicits a response that, if you're so inclined to give, they may not be prepared to handle.
The most offensive and probably best thing you can do to a gossip or nosy person is shut down their inquiry and let them know that you see through their game. They don't have a genuinely concerned bone in their bodies, and will talk about you as eagerly as they involve themselves in the business of others.
Sometimes I wish I weren't taught to be polite. I couldn't believe the nerve of the caller. What he was asking about was clearly none of his business, and further, we aren't friends. What if what he "thought I needed to know" wasn't something I was SUPPOSED to know? It made me wonder if the singing engagement was just a ruse.
Some people are just too, TOO familiar! Okay, so you can rattle off a list of things that MIGHT make me more comfortable even talking to you in the first place--so what? So, you have dropped a few names of people we mutually know. It doesn't seal a friendship, and it certainly doesn't give one a signal to launch into conversations about others and fish for information. You may have a person's phone number, but it doesn't make you friends. If people want to RETAIN access to others, it would behoove them not to make the mistake of coming across as sneaky, nosy or too familiar. Maybe my issue with too familiar people is because indiscretion was not tolerated when I was a child. There were just some things you didn't do or say. You knew better. When I encounter people who are pushy, arrogant, rude and void of discretion it triggers something in me. I want to ask, "Don't you know any better? Did you hear yourself? Where does one buy nerve like that?"
I ended the call, and my first thought was to call my family member, but I didn't. My second thought was to block the caller's number. My third thought was to say, "Thanks, but no thanks" to the singing engagement. It seemed tainted somehow. Maybe I'm overreacting. The whole thing just left a really bad taste in my mouth.
He called again today, but from a different number. "Hi. Did you leave me an IM, because if you did, it didn't go through? My phone doesn't take IM's but it takes text messages." WHAT?
What I learned:
1. Don't read more into a thing than necessary.
2. Say what you mean. Handle situations as they occur.
3. Nosy people are, well, nosy. Don't expect them to be otherwise. Save yourself and cut the conversation short.
4. Never mind how someone got your number. Having your number and having access are two different things.
5. Demonstrate professionalism even when others don't.
6. Some people think closeness with a family member of yours guarantees closeness to you.
7. The enemy's greatest accomplishment is to get you to think he doesn't exist. Keep your eyes open.
8. Some people want access. If they can't get in with your help, they'll turn to someone close to you. I wonder if they really think that's going to endear you to them?
9. Stay focused. Ignore idiots.
10. Smile---genuinely.
11. Forgive.
12. Remember Hymn #342 ...: )
http://books.google.com/books?id=Mx5O73a7aIkC&pg=PA277&lpg=PA277&dq=what+a+friend+we+have+in+jesus++baptist+standard+hymnal&source=bl&ots=Onv7mvomvX&sig=7MTIcF-tfdCVeu7K8VppwL_qI1g&hl=en&sa=X&ei=STQNUeStCe6N0QGEwoHIDQ&ved=0CDoQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=what%20a%20friend%20we%20have%20in%20jesus%20%20baptist%20standard%20hymnal&f=false
The mission and goal is to speak up--boldly--when necessary, whether it is characteristic or not, and give the tough stuff --no--EVERYTHING to God, and still remember what Mommy said, "Always be a lady".
Yes. Some people try waaaaaay too hard. They're too familiar and all they really inspire is intense dislike and mistrust. They're constantly scheming and worming their way where they don't belong and aren't welcome. They take liberties they should not. I read Ephesians 6:12 and it really adjusted my attitude this morning. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places." So, it's not the nosy, intrusive people's fault after all. Is it that they're just possessed? Ha!
Here's the old journal entry:
I got a call yesterday about a singing engagement, or at least that's what the person initially said was the nature of his call. Now where did he get my number? The initial flattery should have been a warning sign. I'm a fan of affirmation, but this was bordering on brown nosing. In the midst of the conversation, the caller abruptly switched gears and began interrogating me about a personal matter concerning a family member, and proceeded to share information that, for some reason, he didn't think I already knew. I wondered what on Earth it had to do with the singing engagement? How did his train of thought completely jump the track? I was immediately annoyed. I could hear my own tone change. I was ready to hang up. Polite, gracious Me kept plugging along and steered the conversation back to where it began. I could feel some really ignorant chick tying hard to get out and give him a piece of her mind, but I wouldn't let her. I was sure she would go too far. It wasn't the first time someone had overstepped their boundaries and involved themselves in circumstances where they had no place. I let it slide and stayed silent to this day. Here I was again faced with another individual, from the same circle of too-familiar people, whose tone testified that he felt he had a right to say every word that was coming out of his mouth. Hanging up would have been rude, but I knew the conversation had to end soon before I said something I would feel quite good about saying, but regret later. I stayed cool and didn't let that other side of me come out to play. Based on the many other times she was suppressed, I didn't trust her to be nice, or stay on topic.
Sometimes it's just easier to assume that people mean well--that they don't mean any deliberate harm, or are just clueless concerning their inappropriate words or behavior. No. It's not I. Sometimes you really are reminded of the superiority of the spirit of Christ. Self control is a wonderful thing-- graciousness, forgiveness and understanding are, too.
What is it about people who are so eager to share what they know about what they think you SHOULD know, as if it's some kind of tabloid newspaper scoop? Some people are waiting/itching for an opportunity to engage/confront you based on a variety of factors. When they finally have or create the opportunity, it's fascinating how some can jump in while both feet are wedged firmly in their mouths. It is an immediate and irreversible turn-off. The aim is not to assist or be of help. It quickly exposes their real motive for seeking you out. It forces you to adopt a defensive stance. It breeds cynicism and mistrust. It also elicits a response that, if you're so inclined to give, they may not be prepared to handle.
The most offensive and probably best thing you can do to a gossip or nosy person is shut down their inquiry and let them know that you see through their game. They don't have a genuinely concerned bone in their bodies, and will talk about you as eagerly as they involve themselves in the business of others.
Sometimes I wish I weren't taught to be polite. I couldn't believe the nerve of the caller. What he was asking about was clearly none of his business, and further, we aren't friends. What if what he "thought I needed to know" wasn't something I was SUPPOSED to know? It made me wonder if the singing engagement was just a ruse.
Some people are just too, TOO familiar! Okay, so you can rattle off a list of things that MIGHT make me more comfortable even talking to you in the first place--so what? So, you have dropped a few names of people we mutually know. It doesn't seal a friendship, and it certainly doesn't give one a signal to launch into conversations about others and fish for information. You may have a person's phone number, but it doesn't make you friends. If people want to RETAIN access to others, it would behoove them not to make the mistake of coming across as sneaky, nosy or too familiar. Maybe my issue with too familiar people is because indiscretion was not tolerated when I was a child. There were just some things you didn't do or say. You knew better. When I encounter people who are pushy, arrogant, rude and void of discretion it triggers something in me. I want to ask, "Don't you know any better? Did you hear yourself? Where does one buy nerve like that?"
I ended the call, and my first thought was to call my family member, but I didn't. My second thought was to block the caller's number. My third thought was to say, "Thanks, but no thanks" to the singing engagement. It seemed tainted somehow. Maybe I'm overreacting. The whole thing just left a really bad taste in my mouth.
He called again today, but from a different number. "Hi. Did you leave me an IM, because if you did, it didn't go through? My phone doesn't take IM's but it takes text messages." WHAT?
What I learned:
1. Don't read more into a thing than necessary.
2. Say what you mean. Handle situations as they occur.
3. Nosy people are, well, nosy. Don't expect them to be otherwise. Save yourself and cut the conversation short.
4. Never mind how someone got your number. Having your number and having access are two different things.
5. Demonstrate professionalism even when others don't.
6. Some people think closeness with a family member of yours guarantees closeness to you.
7. The enemy's greatest accomplishment is to get you to think he doesn't exist. Keep your eyes open.
8. Some people want access. If they can't get in with your help, they'll turn to someone close to you. I wonder if they really think that's going to endear you to them?
9. Stay focused. Ignore idiots.
10. Smile---genuinely.
11. Forgive.
12. Remember Hymn #342 ...: )
http://books.google.com/books?id=Mx5O73a7aIkC&pg=PA277&lpg=PA277&dq=what+a+friend+we+have+in+jesus++baptist+standard+hymnal&source=bl&ots=Onv7mvomvX&sig=7MTIcF-tfdCVeu7K8VppwL_qI1g&hl=en&sa=X&ei=STQNUeStCe6N0QGEwoHIDQ&ved=0CDoQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=what%20a%20friend%20we%20have%20in%20jesus%20%20baptist%20standard%20hymnal&f=false
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