WAITING

I'm imagining that some people who are now rigid, uncompromising, ruthless, overbearing, and litigious, were probably once very gracious and giving at one time, but got jerked around one time too many, and decided that "nice" just wasn't the way to go.

I was waiting for something, and I admit I was wondering if I should have stopped expecting it. I was tempted to take a poll and see if I was the only one still waiting. I was afraid of the results. I was very close to chalking it up as a lost cause, and deleting a contact. I stopped corresponding because I knew I couldn't handle another obvious lie. Sometimes when you're talking to someone who you KNOW isn't telling the truth, it's more painful for you to listen, than for them to try and come up with ANOTHER whopper to match the last one they told. You just want to stop them mid-sentence and spare them yet one more thing for which to repent. Among my options were to be angry and disappointed, or continue to wait. I chose neither. Lesson learned. The joy is that God will not allow you to remain discouraged--unless you just want to be. He already knows how things are going to play out, so if you just stay focused and don't allow yourself to get distracted, or make things worse by losing your cool or involving others who have no dog in the hunt, you'll see how He turns crappy situations around for the better.

I got what I was waiting for. Better late than never, I suppose.

Sometimes when you're passive, or perceived as a pushover, you become expert at waiting, understanding, making excuses for others, second guessing yourself and your judgment, fighting frustration, doing without, and suffering loss. People have no problem ignoring, giving a sob story, or just flat-out lying to the face of a passive individual. They come to you, Passive Person because they know you won't bite back. They come to you because they know you will deliver. You're easy. You'll smile. You won't be a pest. You'll do the job--heartily as unto the Lord. You'll wait--often indefinitely. No diva drama, no trouble, no demands, no complaints. No wigging out. You're motivated by mercy, you're helpful, and some people play on that fact like it's a fiddle.

The "squeaky wheel", on the other hand, "gets the oil", and is able to immediately roll on to the next thing. No one wants to hear the ear-splitting noise it will surely make if it doesn't get its way. It doesn't even have to perform with any excellence, efficiency, or for a reasonable duration. It will be attended to, compensated and rewarded just to stop the noise it guarantees to make. Squeaky wheels won't let people off the hook; they have long memories, aren't forgiving and can be vindictive. They make trouble. Squeaky wheels are going to get exactly what they seek-- in full, and on time, while the passive continue to wait. The squeaky wheel doesn't care what you think about it as you wait-- and it proceeds to the bank. That alone can be infuriating to an easy-going individual, but you don't have to act a fool, or put circumstances and people on blast. You don't have to be profane, make a scene, and damage your witness in an effort to get people to do right by you, but DO have the courage to speak up for yourself...and if in speaking up, you never get what is due you, an opportunity is lost, or a relationship is severed, then determine not to have to re-learn a valuable lesson. Determine and accept that, no matter how exciting they may appear, some things are not worth your time, talent or effort if, in the end, you are left feeling like an idiot.

Users, cons and manipulators do not enhance you in any way--especially the ones who call themselves friends. Some supposedly great opportunities are in fact another person's attempt to get over on you, use your resources, and make a profit and a name for themselves. Whether you can pay your bills on time is of no consequence to them. It is vitally important that you know the terms of the work you do--before the work begins. Don't think you're employed, only to find out later that you have been a volunteer--or worse a slave.

You hate to think that you've been taken advantage of--that your kindness and willingness to cooperate have been abused. If it's a fact, face it. Make up your mind with whom you will do business, in what you will participate, to what you will lend your support, for what you will exert your energy. Don't allow people who mistreat you to make you feel bad for disallowing their mistreatment. It's amazing when people want to know where the people they've abused have gone, and why they don't want to play any longer! News flash: They are somewhere being treated with respect and regard--hopefully. They have decided to deal with people of integrity--hopefully.

It's true. When people show you who they are, believe, believe, believe them! Did I say BELIEVE them? Some people have so mastered the art of deceit that they believe their own tall tales and schemes. Call them out on their words and don't be surprised if they are highly offended and respond with even taller tales. You can pray and hope that shady, fork-tongued, messy, gossipy, dishonest people will turn over a new leaf, but if they're still on the same old page every time they seek you out, say, "Thanks, but no thanks". If their language, propositions and demeanor STILL make you feel as if you need to immediately clean off the bottoms of your shoes with an industrial strength detergent, and soak your feet and ankles in Clorox, cut the conversation short. If you ignore every bell, whistle and flag and go along with the program, then any suffering you endure as a result of foolishly dealing with them again-- and expecting things to be different-- is your own fault. If things ARE different, thank God for answering your prayer--but don't get suckered again. Your mama may have raised an easy-going individual, but let her be proud that she didn't raise a fool.