TUESDAY THOUGHTS: MY EVERYTHING

There are times when you hope you don't look like you feel. 

The power had been off the day before, and stayed off on the morning I should have been wielding a curling iron like a pro. 

The dress I wanted to wear said, "Uh uh, Sis. Not this time". 

I'd forgotten my earrings and make-up. There was no time to shop.

My throat was a little sore.

I was so nervous, in a way I don't ever recall being before. 

At sound check, I wanted to run and hide. My voice was cracking, and I didn't feel well. 

It was hot outside that day,  and I was in full menopausal meltdown. 

I felt so unprepared. 

Everyone else in the group was so lovely--dressed as if they remembered we were going to actually be on television. 

Where did I think I was going? An usher board anniversary? Jury duty?

I just felt so out of sorts, and so silly for feeling all of the things I was feeling— considering how long we've been singing. 

The answer for me was comfort. Put on the suit and stop worrying. Several people told me, "You're going to be fine". 

It's true. Sometimes, no matter how many times you've done a thing, it always feels like the first nerve-wracking time.

As I drank water like a camel, I thought of how loved "Is There Any Way" the first time I heard Brenda Roy sing it. It wasn't just a song I was covering, it was a testimony. When Richard told me I'd be singing it, I was speechless. He said it was his favorite Hawkins-penned song. 

I admit, I felt a little pressure. God forbid that you botch the daylights out of someone's FAVORITE song. 

It, however, became a prayer to me that day. 

I really was wondering if I would make it, and how! The high heels I have loved for so many years, aren't exactly being friendly any longer--well, at least not for AS long. They now have a strict time limit, then they go into torture mode. I wanted to get out of them, and away from the unforgiving lights. The cameraman promised me he would make me look skinnier, but of course he lied...lol. 

I don't remember much once we got on stage. Thanks to Youtube, it all came rushing back. I just wanted God to help me through it; hide me; sing through me, so that someone might be encouraged...AND get rid of the seemingly humongous, volcanic pimple that showed up out of nowhere, one minute before we were called to the stage. What am I? Twelve?

I admit I wasn't looking forward to the posting online. People can be so cruel with critiques and comparisons, but I had a chance to sing music I love, that ministered to, and encouraged me for so many years, with people I love--in our own city.

My prayer today is that everyone will remember that God really is everything, and He keeps his promises. 

His presence is assured and His love is unconditional. When anxiety tries to creep in; when insecurity tries to blanket you, and negative self-talk won’t shut up, just talk to God. 

Remember that His ears are attentive, and His arms are open. 

Rest in them. 

He really is everything.

You'll be safe.