Every generation has its catch phrases, but there's a contemporary jewel that eloquently describes something that is inappropriate, poorly planned, unintentionally funny, carelessly presented, or just horribly bad.
You've probably said, or thought it, yourself.
"That was a HOT MESS."
You don't have to contort your face or yell.
Just purse your lips, shake your head, roll your eyes, put your hand on either hip, and say it.
"What kind of hot mess was that?"
The words alone, convey all of the emotion necessary to communicate extreme disappointment.
The thing wasn't just awful, pitiful, terrible or unbearable. It was "a hot mess".
In order to adequately brand the disaster you experienced, few words so securely hit the nail on the head.
Not just a regular mess. Oh no.
Not a big mess, nor even a messy mess, but a hot one.
A hot mess is apparently one that gives off heat, and arouses controversy.
It's a mess that is violent and raging; a mess that causes a burning sensation.
A hot mess is one that has a lasting effect, and calls into question the mind of the person or persons responsible for unleashing it on some poor unsuspecting soul or group.
Some hot messes are soooo hot, that even other equally hot messes don't even want to associate.
Now THAT'S a mess.
When the result of your decision is a hot mess, the spotlight will be placed squarely on you-- and unfortunately, the people enlisted in the presentation of the mess.
When the result of your decision is a hot mess, the spotlight will be placed squarely on you-- and unfortunately, the people enlisted in the presentation of the mess.
That's at least one of the reasons why it is vital to recognize one's own strengths and weaknesses.
Authority can be delegated. Responsibility can not.
Often, the wrong people are left to explain away the mess someone else has made.
What is fantastic to some, may be disgusting to others, but most will unite in the case of a hot mess.
You can certainly make a mess by yourself, but many hot messes have such a searing impact that you KNOW there must have been accomplices. Here are a few collaborators:
1. The Insecure and the Capable.
In this case, the insecure has been placed in charge, and the capable have no choice but to go along with the program.
1. The Insecure and the Capable.
In this case, the insecure has been placed in charge, and the capable have no choice but to go along with the program.
This is one time when revolting might seem like a good idea.
A mutiny. A coup. A full out tantrum. A committee meeting. Prayer. Something!
The capable sense it's going to be a hot mess before it even begins. They ought to help, but often sit back and watch the ship sink under the weight of the mess.
It's painfully sad to watch capable people pretend that they don't know what they're doing. Repeated exposure to hot messes is like kryptonite. It weakens the strong, and saps their desire to work and produce at their greatest potential. A hot mess intervention might be in order.
When everyone recovers, or stops laughing, there's talk, but it's never constructive.
For example, by recognizing that Saul's armor was simply not going to work, David avoided looking a hot mess...Aaron and Miriam may have argued that Moses sounded a hot mess....oh oh...but I digress.
2. The Mediocre and the Deceived.
In the creation of what will surely be a mess, the deceived is so deluded, and the mediocre so desperate, that they BOTH see hot messes as masterpieces. This combination spawns The Hot Mess Monster.
2. The Mediocre and the Deceived.
In the creation of what will surely be a mess, the deceived is so deluded, and the mediocre so desperate, that they BOTH see hot messes as masterpieces. This combination spawns The Hot Mess Monster.
You cannot tell them that their mess is not a hot, messy one. Don't even try to enlist an expert to convince them. They will not receive the pronouncement with a spirit of humility.
They will respond in an even hotter and messier way--that makes you forget the original hot mess. Examples of Hot Mess Monsters are those who show up at American Idol auditions, and don't understand why Simon suggests that they fire, or take legal action against their vocal coaches.
3. The Clueless and the Immature.
In this case, the players just don't know any better, because they've never been exposed to anything else. They have been used to mediocrity for so long, that any competence overwhelms them. Perhaps resources are limited, so every hot mess they make gets progressively hotter and messier.
3. The Clueless and the Immature.
In this case, the players just don't know any better, because they've never been exposed to anything else. They have been used to mediocrity for so long, that any competence overwhelms them. Perhaps resources are limited, so every hot mess they make gets progressively hotter and messier.
You feel a little inclined to show these two a little mercy.
Their messes have reached traditional status, and everyone just looks for them at a certain time each year. They even have a speech to explain each messy aspect of the mess.
4. The Stubborn and the Careless.
Judge Judy would call these two "thick", then take her fist and knock on her own head. These persistent mess makers are so afraid or unwilling to ask for help; so intimidated and paranoid, that they don't care about the quality of what is produced. They trot out the hot mess, expect everyone to think it's spectacular, and then get mad if no one does. They are convinced that those who attempt to flee and find cooling relief from the mess, are obviously practicing Haterologists.
5. The Control Freak and The Bigger Control Freak.
Mammoth hot messes are made by these two, which require serious and immediate damage control.
4. The Stubborn and the Careless.
Judge Judy would call these two "thick", then take her fist and knock on her own head. These persistent mess makers are so afraid or unwilling to ask for help; so intimidated and paranoid, that they don't care about the quality of what is produced. They trot out the hot mess, expect everyone to think it's spectacular, and then get mad if no one does. They are convinced that those who attempt to flee and find cooling relief from the mess, are obviously practicing Haterologists.
5. The Control Freak and The Bigger Control Freak.
Mammoth hot messes are made by these two, which require serious and immediate damage control.
A little clout allows these mess makers to enlist other people to cover their blunders. Their hands have to be in everything. They don't really trust anyone to get it right. They also don't want anyone else to get credit. Truth is not one of their favorite things, they're greedy, and they think they are intellectually superior to everyone. What they forget, is that they only have two hands each, and everyone is not so enamored of them as to dismiss the messes they make.
Some of the things they do, in the creation of hot messes, could be considered negligent or criminal.
On occasion, they even make hot messes on purpose.
The bold little boy in the story "The Emperor's New Clothes", blew these types of hot mess makers right out of the water.
6. The Smoke Blower and The Credit Seeker.
These hot mess makers want to make sure that if a pat on the back is coming, they are the only ones who will feel it.
6. The Smoke Blower and The Credit Seeker.
These hot mess makers want to make sure that if a pat on the back is coming, they are the only ones who will feel it.
They are just deluded enough to believe that if they are not involved in a thing, it will surely fail.
Watch out for these messies. They do not want help-- unless you can immediately clean up one of the hot messes they have made.
After you clean up their hot mess, they will take credit for the clean-up.
They will knock you down, cheat, and withhold information.
They have no problem discrediting people.
Lying is no problem for them, either.
These mess makers are looking for a payday, and they want to be able to report how many hours they put in.
They want to be paid for whatever it is they do, or don't do, but expect others to donate their time.
They can be found appearing exhausted because, let's face it, perpetrating a fraud really is hard work.
They front as if they're engaged in business when, in fact, they're just busy.
They will neglect their own, if it means recognition and a place in the loop.
They wouldn't have to do so much work if they'd just allow others to help- but they can't. They're so paranoid and afraid that someone else will demonstrate proficiency.
Don't bother volunteering with these mess makers. They are divisive and exclusionary. They're more afraid that it will be revealed that they regularly and carelessly waste extreme amounts of time, money and resources.
It is downright tragic how much running around they do, and STILL manage to make a hot mess--that they don't think anybody sees.
There are always innocent parties caught up in a hot mess. When witnesses to the mess are done crying, laughing, choking and trying to pull themselves together, they can tell who's responsible for it.
There are always innocent parties caught up in a hot mess. When witnesses to the mess are done crying, laughing, choking and trying to pull themselves together, they can tell who's responsible for it.
They snicker ,as the mess participants walk away and hang their heads in messy shame, or, on the other hand, bask in an imaginary glow of approval.
YOU knew it was bad.
THEY knew it was bad.
EVERYBODY knew it was bad, and there's no way to fix it, or explain it away.
Choruses of "Was that supposed to be a joke?", "Was that for real?" "Did they ask anybody?", and "Who was in charge?", can be heard in the aftermath of a hot mess experience.
Here's an example: A contestant gives an unbelievably weird answer on Family Feud. The host can't keep a straight face, and the audience boos and laughs out loud. Their family members stand there dumbfounded for a few seconds, and can't believe that someone who shares their DNA could be so clueless. You can see it on their faces. They want to say "You Moron! What kind of stupid answer was that?" But they can't say that, 'cause it wouldn't be nice or prudent. So they recover somehow, begin to clap wildly, and shout one of the biggest lies heard regularly on national television---- "GOOD ANSWER! GOOD ANSWER!"
Here's an example: A contestant gives an unbelievably weird answer on Family Feud. The host can't keep a straight face, and the audience boos and laughs out loud. Their family members stand there dumbfounded for a few seconds, and can't believe that someone who shares their DNA could be so clueless. You can see it on their faces. They want to say "You Moron! What kind of stupid answer was that?" But they can't say that, 'cause it wouldn't be nice or prudent. So they recover somehow, begin to clap wildly, and shout one of the biggest lies heard regularly on national television---- "GOOD ANSWER! GOOD ANSWER!"
What they really want to do, is bop their family member on the head with a shoe and say, "You know what? That was a hot mess".
No amount of clapping or screaming can change a hot mess into something good, and everyone knows that the hot mess answer will not appear on the survey. Hot mess answers make you wonder if some people are trying to lose the game on purpose.
You can try to support a hot mess and hope that it gets better, but it never works. It only makes YOU look as crazy as the mess. Encouraging a hot mess just makes it worse.
It's one of those times when you reach back and grab a hold of what everybody's mama admonished: "If you can't find anything good to say, don't say anything at all."
When the result of your decision is a hot mess:
1. Your level of care and concern becomes questionable.
2. It demonstrates that you didn't think something through, weren't prepared, and lack good judgment.
3. You might find yourself looking for another job--one where hot messes are welcome, normal, and not frowned upon.
4. Everyone affected by it will wonder what you were thinking or NOT thinking; drinking, or not drinking, taking--- or maybe you skipped a dose.
5. You can't expect people to stifle their laughter. Not even their maturity will allow them to keep a straight face.
When the result of your decision is a hot mess:
1. Your level of care and concern becomes questionable.
2. It demonstrates that you didn't think something through, weren't prepared, and lack good judgment.
3. You might find yourself looking for another job--one where hot messes are welcome, normal, and not frowned upon.
4. Everyone affected by it will wonder what you were thinking or NOT thinking; drinking, or not drinking, taking--- or maybe you skipped a dose.
5. You can't expect people to stifle their laughter. Not even their maturity will allow them to keep a straight face.
WHY do people expect others not to laugh at something that's funny? Hot messes are usually hysterical. Hot messes deserve to be laughed at-- if for no other reasons than they could have been prevented, or that someone tried to insult the intelligence of everyone who had the misfortune of seeing, hearing or experiencing the mess.
You cannot pass off a hot mess as an example of preparation and excellence. Discerning minds won't allow it. Hearing ears and seeing eyes won't be deceived. Hot messes aren't discreet. They scream, "Hey! Look at me! I am a hot mess"!
There is nothing more pathetic than listening to someone try to justify a hot mess. You can tell that they don't even believe what's coming out of their own mouth. Hot messes are just not okay, and there's nothing you can say to excuse or explain them--especially when they're made on purpose.
There is nothing more pathetic than listening to someone try to justify a hot mess. You can tell that they don't even believe what's coming out of their own mouth. Hot messes are just not okay, and there's nothing you can say to excuse or explain them--especially when they're made on purpose.
The principle of sowing and reaping applies in so many areas. Let's face it. A hot mess is a result of hot mess SEEDS.
The aftermath of hot messes have varying consequences:
1. Mass mutinies following a hot mess are a sign that people don't want to be associated with, or embarrassed by them ever again.
The aftermath of hot messes have varying consequences:
1. Mass mutinies following a hot mess are a sign that people don't want to be associated with, or embarrassed by them ever again.
2. In a situation where hot messes are acceptable, God forbid someone comes along who actually knows what they're doing. Mess makers dig in their heels and defend dysfunction.
3. Complaints following a hot mess indicate that people are tired of watching something slowly disintegrate, and they demand change.
3. Complaints following a hot mess indicate that people are tired of watching something slowly disintegrate, and they demand change.
4. If people are in a tizzy as a result of a hot mess, they have every right to be, and may deserve relief, an apology, an explanation, or a refund-- if the case calls for it.
5. Ridicule following a hot mess reveals that tact and constructive methods to correct a situation have failed miserably. Repeated hot messes reduce some situations to comic status. What was once sacred is now the butt of jokes.
5. Ridicule following a hot mess reveals that tact and constructive methods to correct a situation have failed miserably. Repeated hot messes reduce some situations to comic status. What was once sacred is now the butt of jokes.
6. Hot messes caught on tape usually find their way to the internet, and some of the hottest examples originate in our nation's houses of worship, and serve as a primary source of amusement on YouTube.
My Auntee used to shake her head and mumble, "Umph, umph, umph. That was a shame befo' Gawd".
My Auntee used to shake her head and mumble, "Umph, umph, umph. That was a shame befo' Gawd".
Perhaps it's a distant-cousin-phrase of "hot mess", and, is just as suggestive that something really didn't "go good".
#HotMess
#Leadership
#Organization
#DecisionMaking
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