TUESDAY THOUGHTS: A HOT MESS

No figure of speech so eloquently describes something that is horribly bad, the way "hot mess" can. 

We can't simply say that something was just awful, pitiful, terrible or unbearable. 

In order to adequately communicate the disaster that we experienced, no words hit the nail on the head like "a hot mess". 

Not just a regular mess. 

Not a big mess; not even a messy mess- but a hot one. 

A hot mess is one that gives off heat; that arouses controversy. It's a mess that is violent and raging; a mess that causes a burning sensation. 

A hot mess is one that has a lasting effect and calls into question the mind of the person who is responsible for it. 

Some hot messes are so hot,  that other hot messes don't even want to associate with them. 

Now that's a mess.

Sometimes you can't even smile when you say "That was a hot mess". 

Hot messes often inspire sheer disgust because they're so unnecessary and preventable.

When the result of your decision is a hot mess, the spotlight will be placed squarely on you--NOT the people you have enlisted in the presentation of the mess. 

Notice that most hot messes are created with help. 

Here are a few collaborators:

1. The Insecure and the Capable. 

In this case, the insecure is in charge and the capable feel that they have no choice but to go along with the hot mess. This is one time when mutiny would be a good idea. 

The capable know it's going to be a hot mess before it even begins. It's painfully sad to watch capable people pretend that they don't know what they're doing. Repeated exposure to hot messes is like kryptonite. It weakens the strong and saps their desire to perform at their true potential.

2. The Mediocre and the Deceived. In this case, the deceived is so deluded, and the mediocre so desperate that they both see hot messes as masterpieces. This combination spawns what I like to call the Hot Mess Monster. Examples of Hot Mess Monsters are those who show up at American Idol auditions and don't understand why Simon suggests that they fire their vocal coaches…

3. The Ignorant and the Immature. In this case, people just don't know any better because they've never been exposed to anything else, so every hot mess they make is hotter and messier than the one before.

4. The Stubborn and the Careless. In this case someone is so afraid or unwilling to ask for help; so intimidated by someone else's ability that they don't care about the quality of what is produced. Then they trot out the hot mess and expect everyone to think it's wonderful--and get mad if you don't.

5. The Control Freak and The Bigger Control Freak. 

In this case, mammoth hot messes are made that require serious damage control. A little clout allows these mess-makers to enlist people to cover their blunders. 

Their hands have to be in everything, truth is not one of their favorite things, they're greedy, and they think they are intellectually superior to everyone- but they forget that they only have two hands each, and everyone is not so enamored of them as to dismiss the messes they make. Some of the things they do in the creation of hot messes could be considered negligent and criminal. The bold little boy in the story "The Emperor's New Clothes" blew these types of hot mess makers right out of the water...

6. The Butt Kisser and The Credit Seeker. 

 In this case, the hot mess makers want to make sure that if a pat on the back is coming, they are the only ones who will feel it. They are just deluded enough to believe that if they are not involved in a thing, it will fail. 

Watch out for these messies. They do not want your help unless you can immediately help them clean up one of the hot messes they have made. After you clean up their hot mess, they will take credit for it. They will knock you down if they think you're getting too close to their meal ticket. They have no problem discrediting people. Lying is no problem for them either. These mess-makers are looking for a payday and they want to be able to report how many hours they put in. They want to be paid for whatever it is they do or don't do, but expect others to donate their time. They can be found looking exhausted because, let's face it, perpetrating a fraud really is hard work. They front as if they're engaged in business when, in fact, they're just busy. They will neglect their own if it means recognition and a place in the loop. They wouldn't have to do so much work if they'd just let go- but they can't. They're so paranoid and afraid that someone else will demonstrate proficiency. Don't bother volunteering with these mess makers. They don't really want help, and regularly chase it away. These mess makers are divisive and exclusionary. They're more afraid that it will be revealed that they regularly and carelessly waste extreme amounts of time, money and resources. 

It is downright tragic how much running around, blocking, and manipulating they do and still manage to make a hot mess--that they don't think anybody sees.

There are always innocent parties caught up in a hot mess. The world just feels sorry for them. You can tell they didn't want to do what led to the mess, but someone insisted and the result caused them to walk away and hang their heads in shame. You knew it was bad. They knew it was bad. Everyone knew it was bad and there's no way to fix it or explain it away.

It's like when contestants give unbelievably stupid answers on Family Feud. The host can't keep a straight face, and the audience boos and laughs out loud. Their family members stand there dumbfounded for a few seconds, and can't believe that someone who shares their DNA could be so clueless. You can see it on their faces. They want to say "You Moron! What kind of stupid- assed answer was that?" But they can't say that 'cause it wouldn't be nice or prudent. (I can't believe I wrote that, but hot messes just make you want to cuss.) So they recover somehow, begin to clap wildly and shout one of the biggest lies heard on TV-- "Good answer! Good answer!" What they really want to do is hit their family member in the head with a shoe and tell them what a "hot mess" their answer really was. 

No amount of clapping or screaming can change a hot mess into something good, and everyone knows that the hot mess answer will not appear on the survey. Hot mess answers make you wonder if some people are trying to lose the game on purpose. You can try to support a hot mess and hope that it gets better, but it never works and only makes you look as crazy as the mess. Encouraging a hot mess just makes it worse.

When the result of your decision is a hot mess, everyone affected by it will wonder what you were thinking or not thinking; drinking or not drinking, taking or maybe you skipped a dose….

When the result of your decision is a hot mess you can't expect people to stifle their laughter. Not even their maturity will allow them to keep a straight face. Why do people expect others not to laugh at something that is funny? Hot messes are usually hysterical. Hot messes deserve to be laughed at-- if for no other reason than that someone tried to insult the intelligence of everyone who had the misfortune of seeing, hearing or experiencing the mess. 

You cannot pass off a hot mess as an example of preparation and excellence. Discerning minds won't allow it. Hearing ears and seeing eyes won't be deceived. Hot messes aren't discreet. They scream, "Hey! I am a hot mess"!

When the result of your decision is a hot mess, your level of care and concern becomes questionable.
When the result of your decision is a hot mess, it demonstrates that you didn't think something through, weren't prepared, and lack good judgment.
When the result of your decision is a hot mess, you might find yourself looking for another job--one where hot messes are welcome and not frowned upon.

There is nothing more pathetic than listening to someone try to justify a hot mess. You can tell that they don't even believe what's coming out of their own mouth. Hot messes are just not okay, and there's nothing you can say to excuse or explain them--especially when they're made on purpose. 

The principle of sowing and reaping applies in so many areas. Let's face it. A hot mess is a result of hot mess seeds.
The aftermath of hot messes have varying consequences.
Mutinies following a hot mess are a sign that people don't want to be associated with or embarrassed by them ever again. 

In a situation where hot messes are acceptable, some people would rather not waste their time and effort. Why sit around and wonder where people went? Some folks get tired of supporting a lie and working only to find themselves a part of a mess.

Complaints following a hot mess indicate that people are tired of watching something slowly disintegrate, and they demand change. 

If people are pissed off as a result of a hot mess, they have every right to be and are owed an apology, an explanation--and their money back if the case calls for it.

Ridicule following a hot mess reveals that tact and constructive methods to correct a situation have failed miserably. 

Repeated hot messes reduce some situations to comic status. What was once taken seriously is now the butt of jokes.

The best thing to be said about a hot mess, is that it didn't have to be one.