'Be anxious for nothing..." ~Philippians 4:6

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

FREEDOM

I had a WONDERFUL time at historic Blues Alley last night. For me, music is oxygen. To be in the company of music makers and those who appreciate good music, is so refreshing...no drama...just harmony, mutual respect and cooperation. Nice--but then there are always the smirking gawkers who can't enjoy what's happening because they're too busy wondering what you're doing in their supposed lane. Their worry is toxic and so unnecessary.
This world is gigantic.There's so much room for everyone to grow and shine.  Many should stop competing with, throwing shade at, and being intimidated by people who aren't even interested in running...ain't laced up nary a running shoe...who are just enjoying the scenery on the track every now and then... Many are actually happy to cheer others on from the bleachers. If some people would just slow down, lose the shady, paranoid air, and see there's no impediment (human or otherwise) to their goal, they'd enjoy their own run so much better. 
What'd my friend Billie say? "God knows a lot of people". 
Yep--and he hasn't run out of stuff OR opportunities.
Is it me, or would some prefer that you do nothing at all? Could it be that some have established places where they think you belong and should remain? Do others want you to be bored, flat broke and floundering until they beckon; just on mute and inactive unless it is on their terms, or according to their timelines, preferences and standards? #aintnobodygottimeforthat
I pack boxes, wrap boxes, open boxes, even tear up boxes so they'll fit into the recycling bin. I don't willingly stuff myself inside those constructed by other people.  
#ILikeToBreathe 
#smilingtoday
 

Friday, July 15, 2016

FRIDAY THOUGHTS: POWER GAMES

Someone is listening to your every word. 
You may not know it, because you're too busy impressing the people in your circle who think the same way you do. 
Your plans involve human beings. 
You, however, feel superior to others, so your plans often ignore the wants and needs of your fellow man. 
Your bold, brash, arrogant, thoughtlessly spoken words may sound great to you, but they're making someone else very anxious and afraid--
someone who may be weary; 
someone who may not be stable; 
someone who is oppressed; 
someone who means you no harm; 
someone who just wants to live in peace. 

Your words and actions are relentless, selfish, and inconsiderate. 
Those who hear you, feel they must find a way to fight back, but they are not as powerful as you are.

Finally, those who are shaken by your words and actions, become enraged. 
Those who you have bullied and disregarded, because they are not like you, or because you feel entitled to what they have, just SNAP. 

You blame them for responding to their fear; 
for demanding their rights to exist; 
for feeling they have to do something--anything-- to get your attention and make you stop, and see their humanity.

What are leaders of nations saying and doing that is striking fear into the hearts of men and women, who then feel they have no alternative than to lash out in deadly ways? 
What is it, for which leaders and governments must acknowledge, apologize, and repent? 
No one is ever angry for nothing
Things don't just happen
Someone is doing or saying something offensive, provocative, and dangerous. 

There are reasons why people do what they do, but too often we are only preoccupied with the reaction--not the action that led to it. 
Someone foolishly started a ball rolling, but never dreamed it would result in such destruction.

The atrocities we often see are the ANSWERS to what people in high places have started
The people in high places, however, are safe. 
Their families are safe. 
Innocents celebrating in the streets, or just going about their daily routines, are not.

Woe to leaders in--any capacity--who see human beings as dispensable pawns in their power games.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

IDEAS AND IMAGES

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RECOMMENDATIONS

When you make a recommendation, two reputations are at stake. The last thing you want to hear is that someone you hailed as competent did a mediocre job, or didn't show up at all. 
When opportunities arise for you to put in a good word for someone, or suggest someone for a job, do the same faithful few come to mind? 
I'm noticing that "no drama" is a frequent stipulation when people ask, "Do you know of someone who could_______? No matter how well someone executes a task, bringing drama to the table is the difference between getting the job and being overlooked. 
Let your demeanor give you a boost, and not be the reason your name was taken out of the running. Whatever the task, do it well. It's encouraging to know that someone else was confident that you would.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

GOOD SHEPHERD

There are times when technology is such a lovely thing.
 
My Dad's pastor sent a phone message that I assume was sent to the entire congregation. Imagine, a shepherd sensing how recent events have impacted the hearts of the people; concerned not about celebrations, pledges, or building bigger barns, but about the mental and physical well being of sheep; thinking about them, looking for them, and emphasizing the need for them to come together tomorrow--to magnify God, not the problems, encourage one another, and pray. #Nice

Friday, July 8, 2016

POETRY PROMPT: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH


You've been smacking me EVERY day for as long as I can remember. 
I do nothing. 
I move. 
I stay out of your way. 
I don't fight back. 
I forgive. 
I try to make sense of it; understand it; excuse it; bind up my wounds, ice my bruises, and keep smiling. 

You KEEP smacking me! 
I look forward to the day when you stop smacking me, and I'll finally stop saying "ouch" and crying all the doggone time. 

One day, I realize that I will NOT stop crying and being in pain until I pick up a 2"x4' and clock you upside the head. 
Then, because you don't like pain or crying--especially not by MY hand, you get mad and call ME violent! 

HUH? 

Why can't you just stop smacking me when I ask you to? 
Why can't you acknowledge that you're hurting me? 
Why won't you just leave me alone? 
Is my mere EXISTENCE bothering you that much? 
Is it because you think you have a RIGHT to smack me, because you think you're superior to me, and I should just take it? 
Is it SPORT for you to harm me? 
Are you afraid that one day I'm going to get up enough nerve to knock the stew out of you so you can see how it feels? 
Are you sensing the power of my long delayed punch? 
Is THAT why you're afraid now? 
Are you realizing that at some point, I'm going to say, "Enough is enough" just like YOU would? 
Are you afraid that you have gone too far and DESERVE what's coming to you?
 
Don't EVER be surprised when your victim snaps and stops the fight YOU started.

What we are taught and what we experience, shapes us. 


Now we have a name.  
The deceased shooter was trained to fight the enemy; trained to defend his life. 
In his own country, in spite of his service to it; in spite of his good deeds, clean record, and academic achievement, HE was, like his father, grandfather, great-grandfather, brothers, uncles, and male cousins, the perceived threat
The monster. 
The brut. 
The thug. 
He saw those who looked like him picked off by those in authority, one by one, with no repercussion. 
He saw men, who looked like him, lose their lives unnecessarily; left to bleed in the streets like slaughtered hogs. 

What did that do to him? Did he wonder when he would be next? 
Who did he come to see as his real enemy? 
Men in Afghanistan who'd NEVER done anything to oppress him? Who did this soldier's perplexed, exhausted mind tell him he had to fight? 

When he devised a strategy, reached for his weapon,  and headed out into the streets, where did he think he was? 
Did he tell himself that his enemy was closer than he thought, armed, wearing a uniform, and bearing legal authority to kill him at whim? 
Is it a wonder he snapped?

Is America, with its long, shameful affinity to #racism and oppression spreading, not democracy, but denial and mental illness?


God help us. 
I know you do, but a little more help, please.

VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER

"Violence is not the answer."
The somber phrase spoken by those
Who have consistently visited violence upon others
As families mourn the murders of their fathers and brothers
It is also the phrase oppressors demand 
That the oppressed preach to their own
In fear that they'll reap the violence
They've so often sown

"Violence is not the answer"
I kill you
Because you kill me?
My place in your society
Was not by choice, but by force 
Unspeakable cruelty was, of course
The way you kept me and mine in line
Yet
You still hate me?
Still see me as less than?
Still screaming for me to "go back"
So that you will no longer have to face
Your evil past; the ease you lack

Your schemes have failed
I am still here in this place
You deem yours alone
Yet in every place, the blood of my ancestors
Cry from the Earth
And I am still here
And you still hate me
In this, my place of birth?
 
You know what you and yours have done
You simply dread to face it
I remind you of your wicked heart
Your sickness; you can't take it
You saw me as less than human
Yet I am here and thriving
You've done all you can to ruin me
You hate that I'm presiding
 
"Violence is not the answer"
Speak it to yourself
Speak it before you raise hand or gun
To destroy someone else
Who could help you heal 
Open your eyes
Give you a sense of peace
Speak it, before you justify
Harming someone like me


Is it ever surprising when a person who has been repeatedly punched and kicked cries out and wildly fights back? What happens in the minds of the oppressed? Is it any wonder that more people have not snapped? Fortunately, more people condemn hate than embrace it.
People SHOULD be afraid that the misery they have visited onto others is on it's way to their houses.
Greatest fears are realized when what you set into motion to mow down someone else rolls up to your door. If you want mercy, fairness and understanding for yourself, you can't continually, legally deny it to others.

Sowing and reaping are not just financial and agricultural principles. Until you acknowledge what your role in the dysfunction you face; apologize, and make amends, the individuals who have been impacted by your selfishness, insensitivity, sense of superiority, lies, injustice, cruelty, and scheming will always be in a state of disease, waiting, protesting, complaining, and simmering. Don't ever expect sustained peace if you only enjoy it, not because it is right, good and reasonable, but because it is mandated and maintained by force, manipulation, and evil doing. 
 
After a while, people get tired of being bullied, oppressed, denied, disregarded and debased. Some will accept the abuse as normal, surrender, find ways to cope, or through faith see their anxiety subside. Others, out of sheer frustration, will boil over, not caring whether innocents are scalded. When your cause is unjust and inhumane; when your heart lacks love and compassion; when you are operating on a lie, when you refuse to acknowledge the humanity of others, when you are motivated by fear, you should always, soberly think about how what you start will finish.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

CAREGIVER DIARIES: GENUINE HELP

Yesterday was a long, sweltering, but lovely day. I witnessed the outpouring of love and respect to someone who had spent his life in unselfish, relentless service to others. Yesterday I saw a family united and strong. It was so moving and beautiful. Their gratitude to everyone who participated in the celebration of their loved one was sincere and genuine. 
People don't have to be kind. When they are, the impact is tangible.

The text I just read made me smile. It's nice when people wake up with you on their minds. Four days in a row, someone has reached out to either ask, "What can I do?", or they just decided they would give, or lend a hand. 
Today's text read, "Don't worry about lunch. I've got it". Then they even bothered to ask if what they'd thought of was appropriate. It's funny. Some people boast of what they've done, but it hasn't been in the interest of my dad or me. If one is going to do something supposedly for someone, shouldn't it be something they at least like, can handle, or will appreciate?


I read James 1:2-3. "You want what you don’t have, so you kill to get it. You long for what others have, and can’t afford it, so you start a fight to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it. And even when you do ask you don’t get it because your whole aim is wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure."

That's a stinging indictment, but it's true and I've experienced it. There are those who have made caregiving difficult because they want something from my Dad; they think they're entitled to what my parents worked for. They see and know what specific needs are, but would rather sit back and hope we're suffering. They've even advised him against obtaining things that would be of great help to him. It would mean ease for me, I suppose.
 
There are those who resent my sisters and me and still see us as children--insignificant and incidental, and without voices. They think they're entitled, too. I wonder what erroneous information fuels them. They've clearly forgotten that God is their source. 
I realize that I've mistakenly magnified their power and influence. If they could drive a wedge between my dad and his children they would. It's their trying that is such a nuisance. However, they've tried and failed. That should be the operative truth in my mind.

Today, my charge to myself is to give attention to those who are truly making my days a little lighter and brighter; to be kinder to myself, and ask when I need help. I charge myself to celebrate those who are genuinely helping, and to celebrate every now and then myself, period.

I admit, I'm a little tired this morning although I got a good night's sleep. 
Thank God for human angels, though. I'm really looking forward to lunch...: )

Monday, July 4, 2016

SUCH JOY


You're always smiling
Is there something you know that we don't?
Please won't you share
What are we missing?
The last time we looked, your life was far from perfect
But there, right there
Is it real? It's genuine
And we don't understand
We know your story-- or at least the one we heard
Don't mean to bring up painful memories but if you can, tell
Why aren't you reigning as, "Most Evil in the Land"?

What makes you feel such joy?
How can you be so happy?
Is it a conscious choice?
What makes you keep on living?
What makes you keep on loving?

I have no tricks, no gimmicks, or schemes,
No presto-chango, magic words, no bottled help, nothing illegal
Just faith and hope
I feel so sure that with each new day
There's there's possibility at work;
Help behind the scenes that defies the naysayers
But since you asked,
The only words that come to mind are these, so hear me
So you, too can wave goodbye to what has been
I firmly contend:

What you don't do is despise your propensity to love--
Though it may seem a miracle that you still can
Life's issues flow from it like streams into a river
Go with it, don't drown in regrets or what ifs
Guard your heart with diligence
Know that your dreams can either live
Keep moving, keep waking with anticipation
It's alright
Say to yourself

I don't have to become what hates me
I am worthy
I am free
Whether sooner or later
What's for you will be
In the meantime, look around
There's so much that's good, lovely, and pure
See it?
There's so much to stir your gratitude
So much to prove how cherished you are
That's what brings such joy
Being alive
That's all it is.

What makes you feel such joy?
How can you be so happy?
Is it a conscious choice?
What makes you keep on living?
What makes you keep on loving?
I have a choice.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

AWAKE




When did I become so jaded?
When did my heart change?
Seems like my devotion's faded
Old narrative rearranged

Feel like I've never been clearer
Some things had to go
I realize as Truth gets nearer
Ain’t got time for show

Can’t say “Yes” ‘cause you say so
Can’t say “No” ‘cause you do
Can’t put on what you’re wearing
Don’t be fooled—ain’t nothing new

Eyes ain’t never been wider
What hid up high, has come low
Keep on pressin’ and I might tell you
Stuff you just don’t want to know

CAREGIVER DIARIES: WHO'S TALKING?



Bible passages are so replete with wisdom. The parallels to every day life are staggering.


"Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." ~Genesis 3:1-5

Eve had it made in Eden. She didn't have to lift a finger. The serpent made her skeptical of just how good she had it, and mistrust God-- someone who'd never, ever deceived or mistreated her.
Dummy.

Many ailing and elderly people are just like Eve. 
They're blessed with caring individuals who sacrifice for them, attend to them, and make provisions for them to remain in their own, familiar, safe environments. Among their acquaintances, and even family members, however, are subtle, manipulative creatures who are enviously watching from the sidelines--and they have a lot to say. 

Perhaps they have no one. Perhaps they can't depend on, or trust their own loved ones. Perhaps they've burned bridges, or have been so unbearable, that their loved ones don't answer when they call. 
Don't let their issues make you turn on your family.

Envious people will always have issues with those who have what they don't, and will endeavor to destroy or usurp it.
Opportunists and users detest vigilant caregivers,  because they are perceived as blockers of the access and resources that they once enjoyed. 
Ailing people and seniors are susceptible to snakes who are jealous that they are cared for, financially stable, and able to remain in their own homes. Those snakes are relentless with their meddling. They're hoping that, like the serpent in the garden, they can inspire doubt. They're hoping that seniors will confront, accuse, mistrust, alienate and sever ties with those who have never done anything except love, assist and advocate for them. 

Seniors, if you've got someone waiting on you hand and foot 24/7, don't let some depressed, lonely imp, be it sister, brother, or friend keep whispering in your ear and telling you what you don't need, and shouldn't have. 
Look around. Are you well nourished each day, and well coiffed and groomed and pressed? 
Is your home and environment kept tidy, obstacle free, and clean? What about your clothing and bedding? 
Can you get where you need to go? 
Do you never have to worry about fending for yourself, or being alone? 
At critical times, was someone always there? 
If you need or want ANYTHING,is there someone right there to provide it? 
When you don't feel like doing something for yourself, is there someone willing to do it for you? 
Is the atmosphere in your home pleasant? 
Do you have a willing, unpaid, conscientious, trustworthy caregiver? Are you free from worry about your caregiver stealing from you or mismanaging your resources, or tearing up your home?  
If you answered "yes", then don't be a fool and get sucked in by someone who wishes they were in your shoes. 
Don't let people who don't have your back cause you to mistreat those who do
 Listening to the advice and warnings of someone who, can't and won't help you, but is forever instigating, making you anxious, getting you upset, and scheming to wreck your relationships, is asinine. 
When you were alone and struggling where were these snakes? 
 When you called out for help, who responded? 

Don't be like Eve. 


“When the time came for Elizabeth to have her child, she gave birth to a son. Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown her great mercy, and they rejoiced with her. On the eighth day, when they came to circumcise the child, they were going to name him after his father Zechariah. But his mother replied, “No! He shall be called John.” They said to her, “There is no one among your relatives who bears this name.” So they made signs to his father to inquire what he wanted to name the child. Zechariah asked for a tablet and wrote, “His name is John.” And they were all astonished.  Immediately Zechariah’s mouth was opened and his tongue was released, and he began to speak, praising God. All their neighbors were filled with awe, and people throughout the hill country of Judea were talking about these events.  And all who heard this wondered in their hearts and asked, “What then will this child become?” For the Lord’s hand was with him.” ~Luke 1:57-66


I have never read this passage of scripture like I read it today. 
As a caregiver, I’ve found that the greatest difficulty has not been as a result of the illness and aging of a loved one, or the daily chores to maintain a home, but the busybodies who have tried (and are still trying) to assert themselves into family decisions. 
I have never met such imposing, messy, nosy, inconsiderate people in my life. For some reason, they think they can bulldoze their way into areas they don’t belong; micromanage, and make suggestions that will benefit and satisfy themselves. 
I can’t imagine behaving so rudely and inappropriately. 
It is so true. People do what they’re allowed to do. 
When spurred on by perceived authority, permission, or responsibility, people can be absolutely annoying and relentless. 
One must wonder if the leeway one has been given is premature, unauthorized, or poorly motivated. 
Someone can give you the all clear to trample over their lives, but don’t dare think that invitation is transferable.

You do have to wonder what people are being told, and why they behave the way they do. Who are they taking their marching orders from? Where are they getting their information? What is that makes people so determined to act? 
Just because someone may have told you that you could, doesn’t mean that you can. A good way to get one’s feelings hurt is to inject oneself where one doesn’t belong; to ignore or disregard those one doesn’t feel are important or relevant.

In the scripture, Elizabeth, the one who had just given birth, the wife of Zechariah, made a decision. It was a decision she and her husband had every right to make, and it shouldn’t have been questioned. The neighbors and friends didn’t conceive or deliver the baby. They weren’t tasked with feeding, nurturing, cleaning up after, teaching, or financing the baby. Where did they get off thinking they could name him? 
Only an empowered busybody would have had the nerve to dismiss Elizabeth’s words concerning her own child. 
Busybodies who clearly had no respect for her, thought they could overrule her; go over her head; pit her against her husband; cause a rift by discounting her decision and asking him to publicly embarrass her. 
Based on their actions, her decision wasn’t good enough. They had a better idea. Her decision didn’t make sense to them. They were sure that Zechariah would side with them against his wife. Then they had the nerve to question not only WHO, but WHAT he would be as a result of the decision that Elizabeth and Zechariah made. 
What did they think? John would be a failure? 
Unsuccessful? 
A flop?

Imagine the conversation—no the argument that would have taken place between Zechariah and Elizabeth when they all went to their respective homes. 
“How dare you! I said his name is John. I’m his mother. You’re my husband! We had already made a decision! There’s a plan in place here! Why didn’t you back me up? Were you just showing off? Are any of those people going to have your back when you’re afflicted again as a result of your arrogance and disobedience?”  

Imagine Elizabeth’s indignation if Zechariah hadn’t supported her decision, and was swayed by the neighbors and relatives. 
Imagine her lack of confidence in him ever having her back again. Imagine her anxiety every time they agreed on something.  
Would she be able to count on him to follow through, or would he be influenced by others? 
Zechariah was wise to not only support his wife, but to be obedient to God. 
He sent a very strong message that is valuable today:

  1.Keep busybodies out of your personal life.

      2.Don’t allow anyone to pit you against your loved ones and friends.

      3.Be consistent. Don’t be contrary with your words. One face is all you can manage.

      4.Don’t ever give anyone the idea that they can come between you and your loved ones and friends.

      5.Don’t allow people who have no stake in a matter to make decisions for you.

     6.Be as direct as you can with people who are laboring under the misapprehension that they have a right to make decisions for you.

     7.Never assume you know the parameters of, or reasons for the decisions that others make.

     8.When a decision has been made, whether you like it or not, don’t exacerbate the situation by being divisive.

     9.Never assume that someone doesn’t know what they’re doing.

     10.Never assume who’s in charge or authorized to make a decision.

1   11.Seeking the input of those who are unable to make a decision may backfire.

1   12.Your reasons for doing something may not apply to the circumstance of someone else.

     13.Wait to be asked for your input. 
     14. Never presume that you have a seat at the decision making table.

     15. No one can give you the right to make decisions for someone else without their consent.

     16.Don’t let temporary cause you to muck up permanent; Don’t let sometime-y cause you to diss faithful.

     17. Mind your own business. Chances are there is much that requires your undivided attention.