'Be anxious for nothing..." ~Philippians 4:6

Monday, March 2, 2015

UPGRADE!

I heard a knock on the door this morning. I wasn't expecting anyone, and was surprised to see a FedEx delivery man. I knew I hadn't ordered anything. Those flat, glossy, white envelopes, that I've received at various times, usually held photos, cards, or prints from my favorites, Shutterfly and Vistaprint. I was curious to know what was inside this time.
The package was marked "Extremely Urgent", and had traveled all the way from Overland Park, Kansas. To my surprise, there wasn't a gift, coupon, photo, card, print, or a refund check inside, but an upgrade/buyback advertisement/offer from Sprint. Apparently, my carrier thinks I need an iphone 6...and wants to lease one to me...and pay me twice the value of my iphone 4 if I sell it back to them. 
I'm still in a tiny bit of shock. Sprint sent an advertisement, on the 27th of February, all the way from Kansas, to Dulles Airport, to my street. (Maybe my monthly bill could be lessened if they'd opt to use snail mail instead.) Perhaps the time sensitivity of the offer is what makes them think FedEx was the way to go. I have until the fifteenth of March to respond. Hmmm...iphone6, or no iphone6. That is the question. The other question is, "What happened to email or snail mail?" The FedEx guy wasn't bad on the eyes, and I do appreciate his effort today, however, if I had missed his attempts to deliver, gotten a door tag, and had traveled all the way to NE just to pick up an advertisement, I don't know if I would have been very happy with the nice people at Sprint.

I've had my iphone 4 for a while--even then I wasn't exactly one of the first to get one. Sure. It experiences mood swings, and has temper tantrums every now and then, (I'm tempted to believe it's some kind of timed conspiracy/sabotage based on the arrival date of newer technology), but it still works just fine concerning the principal thing...most of the time. Twice, in a fit of madness, it erased all of my contacts. One day, it decided I was finished listening to a memo I'd recorded and reverted to the home screen. Another day, it refused to take a single photo or record a single video, and then, there was the day it had an attitude with the charger and refused to cooperate...oh...and it still apparently dreads the Fort Washington area, forgetting everything it knows about reception if I even think about heading west on MD-414.
The ad from Sprint implies that my once celebrated iphone 4 is smaller, fatter, less powerful, less power efficient, and frankly, obsolete. Sprint wants me to join the hip generation, but as long as I can place and receive calls and text messages, play Candy Crush, and check email, I'm good...for now
The correspondence inside the glossy ad, from Chief Experience Officer, Bob, suggests I make an appointment, and go to the Sprint Store on Joyce Street in Alexandria so that I, too, can be hip. Clearly Bob hasn't been keeping up with the weather in the DMV. He and his employer have overestimated how "urgent" it is for me to experience the bliss and gratitude that the model on the cover of the ad is clearly demonstrating. There's such joy on her face, as she cradles her phone. It's like she's thinking, "Mine. All mine.". (I like her purple sweater, though.) 
No phone is worth a sprained ankle. After maneuvering treacherous sidewalks yesterday, I'm going to wait for the good 'ol Sun to handle all of the ice today before I attempt to go anywhere.  
Sprint should know that "Extremely Urgent" would have been more compatible with a letter that read, "Hey! You have 24 hours to pick up your brand new, fully loaded, free iphone 6!" That, perhaps, would have been motivation for me to experience the veritable Ice Capades, that is DC. 
Thanks anyway, Bob. I appreciate the offer, but it's ride or die with me and my trusty iphone 4. 
You just can't bond with your technology these days before something else comes along to make you think it suddenly, totally sucks, and you're a dinosaur. *sigh* 
I remember rotary phones and party lines. Maybe that's why having the most current technology on the first day it's released--or even months or years after-- isn't that important to me. Maybe I'll get the iphone 6 when the iphone 8 arrives...: )

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