Thursday, December 23, 2010
Holidays bring joy and happiness to some, and knock-down drag-out fights and arguments to others. It wouldn't be difficult to have joy all around if folks would only cooperate. Cooperation, however, would mean abandoning one's selfish love for contention, and for some people, that's a difficult habit to break. In many households, things just don't seem to be right on December 25th unless someone is crying, offended, embarrassed, disappointed, confused, bitter or hurt. Happy holidays, it seems, are reserved for the people on TV. For some, it just wouldn't be Christmas unless someone isn't speaking to someone else, or is giving serious side-eye across the macaroni and cheese. When one is the cause, AND promoter of strained relationships, one can't very well complain or brag about what one HAS to do to deal with it.
Some people run their mouths, and keep mess going from December to December. They REFUSE to own that they are the project manager in charge of the implementation and continuation of strife and confusion. This holiday season, don't find yourself at odds with people because of what someone else said or did. If you just HAVE to be mad at folk, distant, throwing shade, rude, mean or insensitive, let it be because of what THEY did or said to you--not because you have been instructed/ encouraged to do so by some drama-loving control freak. The only thing some people hate worse than history is the truth. That's why they're obsessed with maintaining control of current events--and whether and how the stories are told.
Use your head. Pray for wisdom and discernment. Know when you're being manipulated, lied to, and conned. When the common denominator for long-lasting negativity is found, it may not be the person you suspected. It may be the person whose credibility, upon which, you would have staked your OWN reputation. There's a reason why some people want you to be at odds with others. If you get past being mad, judgmental, and critical as a result of what you've been fed, sit down, and EVER talk...Lord, have mercy..."seeing the light" will take on a whole new meaning.
It's never comfortable finding out that you have been systematically pitted against other people, or discussed in less than glowing terms--but knowledge is power. Knowing where you stand with others is key to going forward more freely, in heart and mind. Some people think that you are the scum of the earth--not because of anything you have done, but because of what they have been told by someone close to you.
Walk in truth. If it means getting to the bottom of things, and finding out where the trouble ACTUALLY lies, it will be the best present you, your family and friends can give to each other. Forgiveness is not debatable, but you certainly can know who you can share things with and be close to, and who requires you to break out that "long handled spoon" that everybody's grandmother used to talk about. Don't wonder why your business is in the street, and then forget in whom you have confided. While you're picking up pieces of a story with your name in it (but you don't recognize) from every near or far alley and corner, is not the time to be mad at the people who are looking at you funny because of what they heard. Want to keep people out of your ACTUAL business? Keep your mouth shut--besides, folk are going to make up stuff anyway. Have something worthwhile and edifying to say? Shout it from the rooftops.
Don't buy into other people's wars. Don't allow yourself to be dragged into conflict or taking sides in a fight in which you have no interest. Pay attention. Listen. You can always find the holes and discrepancies in what people say, if you do. Forget about being offended. Harboring manipulatively imposed offense is the enemy to necessary, potentially enlightening, air-clearing conversation. Face it. Some people simply can't have you clear-headed and getting along with certain others. It messes up their program, cramps their style and interferes with their schemes.
A new year is coming. Declare it free of busybodies, gossips, schemers, manipulators, drama kings AND queens, imposition, rudeness, and all manner of inappropriateness that takes inappropriateness to a new and dangerous level.
Say what needs to be said. Quash some stuff. Stop mess in its tracks. Remind people when they have overstepped boundaries. Find the nicest most tactful way possible to put the brakes on nosiness and nitpicking. Let NO ONE sow seeds of discord in your field. No, friend; no acquaintance--NO ONE. Shut that down.
I haven't heard, yet, a nice way to tell people to mind their own business, perhaps because there isn't one. This Christmas, mind your own tree, and encourage others to mind theirs. When people start minding the short fuses, and broken ornaments on their OWN trees, they have little time to interfere with the tinsel on yours.
When YOU stop turning a blind eye to, inviting and allowing strife, and foolishly feeding on, digesting and spreading confusion, you just MIGHT just put the "merry" back into your family's Christmas. Peace on Earth starts with peace in your home...
#NowPlaying Rachelle Ferrell, "Peace On Earth" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XlIiBP9jQU&feature=related