'Be anxious for nothing..." ~Philippians 4:6

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

MY EVERYTHING

There are times when you hope you don't look like you feel. The power had been off the day before, and stayed off on the morning I should have been wielding a curling iron. The dress I wanted to wear said, "uh uh, not this time". I'd forgotten my earrings and make-up. My throat was a little sore. I was so nervous in a way I don't ever recall. At sound check I wanted to run and hide. My voice was cracking and I didn't feel well. It was hot outside that day and I was in full menopausal meltdown. I felt so unprepared. Everyone else in the group was so lovely--dressed as if they remembered we were going to actually be on television. Where did I think I was going? An usher board anniversary? I just felt so out of sorts, so silly for feeling all of the things I was feeling considering how long we've been singing. The answer was comfort. Put on the suit and stop worrying. Several people told me, "You're going to be fine". It's true. Sometimes, no matter how many times you've done a thing, it always feels like the first nerve-wracking time.

I loved "Is There Any Way" the first time I heard Brenda Roy sing it. It wasn't just a song, it was a testimony. When Richard told me I'd be singing it, I was speechless. He said it was his favorite Hawkins-penned song. I admit, I felt a little pressure. God forbid that you botch the daylights out of someone's FAVORITE song.
It became a prayer to me that day. I really was wondering if I would make it. The high heels I have loved for so many years aren't exactly being friendly any longer--well, at least not for AS long. They now have a strict time limit, then they go into torture mode. I wanted to get out of them. The cameraman promised me he would make me skinnier, but of course he lied...lol.
I don't remember much once we got on stage. Thanks to Youtube, it all came rushing back. I just wanted God to help me through it; sing through me so that someone might be encouraged...AND get rid of the seemingly humongous pimple that showed up out of nowhere 1 minute before we were called to the stage...
I admit I wasn't looking forward to the posting. People can be so cruel with critiques and comparisons, but I had a chance to sing music I love, that ministered to, and encouraged me for so many years, with people I love--in our own city.

My prayer today is that everyone will remember that God really is everything, and He keeps his promises. His presence is assured and His love is unconditional. When anxiety tries to creep in; when insecurity tries to blanket you, just talk to God. Remember that His ears are attentive, and His arms are open. Rest in them. You'll be safe.

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